8-1-89
(7am) I can’t imagine dating. (It would be nice, but I can’t afford to go places where I would meet women to ask, and I couldn’t afford to pay my own way on a date.) (Oh well, keep working and paying debts, and in a few years I can start going places again. (Hopefully then everyone won’t either say no or stand me up, like the last time I tried! (That got real old, depressing, frustrating, …; and destroyed what little ego I had.)))
(5pm) Busy day!
On my way to work I saw Carly unpacking her truck and moving into Gwynn’s.
(11pm) The Council meeting went for four hours tonite. (Yech!)
8-2-89
(Midnite) Time to sleep!
(5pm) Busy day!
(8pm) Tonite’s workout was a bit off for some reason.
My guess on Lauren is she that used me as long as I was useful. (It sounds like she has a guy from building inspection helping her with her house now.) (I have heard that she is planning on move away and she wants to improve the value of her house quickly so she can turn a profit.) (I can’t imagine anyone, who I am attracted to, being interested in me, and never expected more than friendship from her. (Still it is sad how it has worked out. (I had hoped I had found someone else who would drop by now and then for short visits. (Oh well!)))) (My ego is so low that I can’t imagine anyone wanting to be friends, let alone more.) (The one good aspect of my marriage was that I felt sexually attractive. (It didn’t take long to lose all that once I became single. (Over the last seven years I have switched from feeling less desirable each year to feeling more undesirable each year.)))
Tis nice having some cooler weather!
I ran into Carly on the way to work and bs’d with her a minute. (She was out walking her dog.)
I don’t know why my mood has been so black this year. (The past couple years, over all, were the happiest I can remember.)
Linda stopped by for a bowl and a brew. (Neat!)
(11pm) "Midnite run" is a good flick!
8-3-89
(5pm) Busy day!
(8pm) Erica stopped by for a bowl and a brew. (Neat!)
(11pm) I finished up another typing project for Erica.