The landlord finally fixed the frig so I went to Erica’s and got my meat. (I hope it’s ok to eat!)
One reason to be alone more is to learn to be a better friend to myself. (Becoming a friend to oneself is the first step to being a friend to others.)
Another reason to be alone now is that, when I am down, I depress anyone who is around me. (It cheers me up to be with others, but they absorb some of my depression and that isn’t fair to them.)
From my perspective, I seem about the same as I have been the last few years; but I am too close to see changes, and it’s quite possible my condition has deteriorated a lot. (For over four years I have gone out little and only spent time with people who stopped by or invited me to join them. (Less people stop by each year, but that is to expected when I am not going out and building new relationships.)) (I am writing less now. (Carrie said I wrote too much, so maybe that is positive.) (Since a lot of my writing results from time with people, spending less time with people is going to result in less writing.)) (I don’t dance often when I go out, but the only reason I danced a lot in Bozeman is lots of women knew me and asked me to dance.) (I have gotten laid more often since I moved here, but it wasn't hard to beat no sex life.) (Regardless of whether I am deteriorating or not, it is true that I am not growing.)
I am getting tired of the heat!
Mary invited me to go to her parent’s place by Superior and float the river. (I turned her down.) (I enjoy visiting with her and she is cute; but she hangs out with a lot of cops and I can’t risk becoming involved with her! (We live in different worlds and it wouldn’t work out!)) (Why is it when someone is interested, it’s always someone who doesn’t interest me? (I suppose part of the problem is I project a false persona, especially in the workplace; so women aren’t given the opportunity to make a judgement based on who I really am.))
(10pm) Time to rest!
7-31-89
(6pm) Erica stopped in for a minute to say hi. (Neat!)
She had another fun weekend in Anaconda! (Good for her!)
Now I am too buzzed to go to the Club. (Oh well!)
(7pm) Erica commented on how sweaty I am and how gross it is. (I do sweat a lot. (It may be gross, but it helps to keep me cool.))
(10pm) Time for dreamland!