I had a little visit with Lauren today. (She was sick yesterday. (She says this thing with that fellow is what made her sick.)) (When she first talked to me about this, she said women manipulated him, and it was his ex, his mom and his daughter who turned him away from Lauren and back to his ex. (Now she is beginning to see him as the manipulator.)-(She thinks he went back because his ex lets him get away with screwing around.))
One of Carrie’s complaints was that I tell stories. (Since then I have tried to shift the focus to telling stories about myself, but I keep slipping back to talking about others. (I think our stories can help others, and, as an aspiring storyteller, I feel an obligation to tell them.))
(10pm) Lauren seems to mostly take, but then she is going through a rough time now. (I know I was real needy, and didn’t have the energy to give much, in the early months of my divorce.)-(I am still pretty needy and dependent, but now I have the energy to do things for others.) (I think, before long, she will get over this guy, find someone new, and I will not hear much from her again.)-(I hope she finds some happiness!)
D O has been friendlier the last couple months.
Lately I seem to be staying up a little later. (Maybe the increased exposure to lite is bringing my energy level and mood up a little?)
The tree in front has gotten its leaves, so I can’t see out anymore. (The way this apartment is situated, it’s pretty isolated.) (The view here leaves something to be desired. (I miss the view I had at my last apartment in Bozeman! (I will have to make it back over to check it out again, before Samantha and Leo move.)))
(11pm) Time for dreamland!
One thought has occurred to me about Carrie. (Maybe our problem is that on some level we recognize that we would be very good for each other, and we are both so afraid of that part of life that we keep doing things to push the other away?)
5-17-89
(6pm) Erica stopped by for a bowl and a brew. (Neat!)
(8pm) Nice workout!
5-18-89
(Midnite) Erica stopped by for dinner, and we partied and bs’d for a few hours. (Neat!)
I feel good!
Erica says that Artie is getting even weirder. (I told her to kick him in the balls. (That will communicate her message clearly.))-(Unfortunately, there are still a lot of guys who think no means yes. (Without a violent retort, they keep going.))
(6pm) Busy day!