The last three years have taught me to overcome my loneliness and depression (mostly), and I am not likely to get involved with someone to end being alone. (If I build a relationship it needs to be because I want to be with them and it’s a positive relationship.) (That is really neat, and now is the happiest of my life; but it also makes me a bit more leery of relationships. (They can make life hell, and it’s hard to give up the happiness of now and risk hell again!))
Quotes:
Janet Woititz, "Struggle for intimacy"
– "Growth does not take place unless we allow access to new thoughts, feelings,
and ideas." (All the growth I have done the past few years ties back to my
relationships with my women friends, and having been able to trust them and open up with
them! (They have taught me most of what I know about relationships!))
(2pm) Erica, Miranda and Charlotte stopped in to say hi. (Neat!)
It sounds like they are having fun! (Good for her!)
Quotes:
Janet Woititz, "Struggle for intimacy"
– "Children of alcoholics tend to carry loyalty to an extreme. They remain in
relationships they know to be destructive to them." (I sure did! (Tis hard to accept
that the problems can’t be resolved and move on! (My unconscious mind had to trick me
into getting out.)))
(8pm) Charlotte said the Court thing was on an old ticket. (?)-(The women in the Court said she had gotten a couple recently.)
Miranda is looking better! (Neat!) (I think Danny has been good for her.)
We deny it, but men have mood swings and cycles too. (I would guess it has to do with changes in hormone levels and body chemistry.) (As Samantha says, "Men spend more time on the rag than women.")
The plants are sure in a growth spurt! (Amazing!) (They are growing about an inch a day.)
I am lucky to have help from my father. (I would have died in a gutter somewhere a long time ago without his help.) (He could help me more without straining his finances, but I think he figures the adversity is good for me. (I think he is right. (I have always learned the most from the hard times!))) (It would be nice to have more money and to be able to afford a social life, but I can’t really complain and I have much more to learn!) (When I was there he said he equates what I am going through with what he went through during the years when my mother was insane. (He had tons of bills, no sex life and lots of work.) (He survived it and came out stronger for it, and I think I will too!) (Tis hard and sometimes I feel real depressed and lonely, but I have grown as a result of what has gone on so far!)-(With a little help from my friends I keep getting by, I am mostly happy and I keep learning!))
Erica commented that she ate meat so often as a child that it turned her off on it. (That is probably an aspect of it.)-(Probably a bigger aspect is that the bad times then associated negative feelings with meat, and conditioned an aversion to it. (Just as the association of sex and being attacked has conditioned an aversion to sex in me.))
I wonder if I will actually manage to stay off cigs? (I have tried and failed before.)