(7am) I watched "Private practice: the story of a sex surrogate" Wednesday nite. (Interesting!) (A lot of what she did was to get the men desensitized to emotional intimacy. (There was a lot more talking and simple touching, than sex.)) (Also, she built up their confidence about their sexuality; she taught them skills for pleasing a woman, she taught them that the whole body is a sex organ and it isn’t just with one’s cock that you please a woman; and she taught them the female genital anatomy. (My ex taught me that and made me confident as a lover. (My confidence had fallen quite a bit, but Sharon helped to restore that some.))) (She also taught them exercises to do, to extend the time one can make love without cuming. (I have practiced those a lot. (Like she says it’s mostly a matter of teaching the body to get used to having an erection without cuming. (Orgasm is great, but there is a lot of pleasure in the process of getting there, and in giving pleasure.)))-(Before my ex, I had a problem with cuming too quickly; but she taught me about second, third, fourth, … times. (I have a fairly short refractory period and in between there are lots of ways to give a woman pleasure without an erection!) (I talk about liking sex for hours, but I don’t mean to say I have an erection all that time. (I just know my whole body is a sex organ and I have lots of ways I can pleasure a woman!)))) (Sex itself isn't my problem. (I am fine, once someone gets me that far!) (The trick is in meeting women and getting that far with a relationship.)-(I spent over eight years with my ex learning about physical intimacy and now over six years learning about emotional intimacy from my women friends. Somehow I have got to break down my phobia to sexual relationships and build a relationship with both emotional and physical intimacy! (I wonder if I ever will?)-(I have got a long way to go yet!)))
Once in the Rhino some women came in and Erica told me there were some big tits for me to check out. (My ex taught me that more than a mouthful isn’t wasted, but breast size isn’t one of my criteria in choosing women to be with. (I fall in lust with women in a wide variety of sizes and shapes.)-(I would be content with most women, in terms of physical attraction.))
Samantha said the smoke situation is bad there too.
(6pm) Busy day!
I went to lunch with the people from Bozeman and the Court.
Beth was pretty friendly today. (At one point she put her hand in my back pocket and played with my ass. (?))
(7pm) Erica stopped by. (Neat!)
(9pm) Work and the Club are the only things I am doing to deal with my phobias. (Between them they are totally draining me and I am not up to anything more.)
Mostly the talk in the Court today was about the City maintenance guy being charged with rape. (His wife works for the police department, they have got one kid, and she is pg.)-(They say they heard from the Sheriff that he had offered to pay the woman, afterwards, if she wouldn’t go to the police.) (Sad!)
Erica’s break up with Henry happened awfully fast, but she says it’s a relief, feels right and makes her happy.
I suppose girl watching is another way I am obnoxious and push women away.