I have managed to get into a routine of walking five miles on workdays, but I am still not going for walks on weekends. (Work has been a major energy drain. (I don’t know if that is the cause, but I haven’t been walking on weekends since I started this job.))
I have gained 30 pounds since starting this job. (Less exercise and more beer.)
Erica says it isn’t fair to others to use them as therapy. (I suppose so.)-(Stay alone and work it out by myself and for myself.)
The weatherman is saying it might snow. (That would be a sudden change of pace!) (Closing the windows is such a pain I hate to do it until it’s cold all the time. (A few cold nites are bearable. (It will warm up again and I will be glad the windows are still open.)))
Erica suggested I come over to her place to do laundry, but I told her no. (I would be worried about being a bother and messing up our friendship.) (No one can stand to be around me for long except for me.)
(10pm) Quiet nite of movies. (Nice!)
Samantha called and bs’d for awhile. (It sounds like things are mostly good for her! (I am glad!)) (Her and Leo went to Oregon a couple weeks ago for the Robert Cray / Grateful Dead concert. (She says it was great! (Good for them!))) (She says it’s so smoky there you can’t see the mountains from town.)
9-9-88
(5am) The clock was blinking at me, so I got up to find out what time it was.
The people downstairs were screaming and throwing things when I went to bed last nite. (I found sleep right away though.) (Compared to my ex, they are mellow!)
I lived in Bozeman for about three and a half years before I started making friends. After a year of making friends I stopped and coasted until I left. (I would have had to go out and start over again, if I had stayed there.)-(Being single long term makes it hard to keep friends, when most of my friends are women. (Most people built another relationship within a couple years and drifted out of my life.)) (It would take sitting in some bar every nite for a year again, to meet anyone here and I am just not up to that now. (Hopefully someday I will be able to deal with that!)) (Maybe I will be able to change enough, with enough time alone, where it won’t take 1,000’s of hours before I meet anyone. (I have my doubts though. (Everything I have read says that one has to spend time with others to get better, and after a few more years of solitude I am probably going to be worse. (Oh well, right now going out is more threatening than I can cope with.))))