I fall in lust so often it has gotten kind of blasé. (Tis still a nice cheap thrill though.) (When I was with my ex I would sometimes fanaticize that she was whoever my current lust was at the time. (It didn’t hurt anyone and she received more pleasure because of the fantasy.))-(And, since she was a far better lover than any of my lusts probably were, the fantasy was far better than the reality would have been. (I disagree with Carrie that the first time with a new lover is the best time. In my experience, if there is communication, sex gets better over time. Each person is a little different, and time unfolds the subtleties of the other’s body and psyche, allowing each to understand better how to please the other.))-(Fantasy is a pleasant spice to add to the mix.) (I never told my ex about the fantasies, because she would have gone ballistic.)
Doing things for others is a way of doing things for myself. (It makes me feel good!) (And, it’s a way to make up for taking too much in the parts of life I am not good at.) (If I could move beyond doing things for others that I can do alone, and start doing volunteer work with others, it would be better therapy.)-(This way does bring some companionship though, and it’s what I am capable of now.) (Also, I firmly believe that what goes around comes around, and by doing things for others, others will do things for me. (It isn’t always the person I have given to who gives to me, but over time it seems to balance out. (Maybe it’s small of me, but if all someone does is take and never gives anything back, I tend to shut them out of my life.)-(I can understand that we all have different resources available and no one is going to give back exactly the same amount as I give them; but when all someone does is take, I avoid them.)))
(10pm) Tis a relief to have the frig problem squared away! (Hopefully the meat is ok.)
The way Lauren plays with her hair reminds me a bit of Carrie. (Like Erica, Lauren is an well-endowed woman, but she never wears anything that shows any cleavage.)-(She does however have a habit of locking her fingers together and stretching her arms above her head while we are talking, which draws attention to her breasts. (Such a lech!)) (Actually, I think women inspire more lust through non-verbal communication than through clothes. (For me anyway, I am more attracted by how a woman moves, her eyes, …, than how much skin she reveals.))
3-23-88
(7am) When I woke up the dj was talking about it being national orgasm week. (That is a nice holiday concept! (Tis one of the most wonderful parts of life, even when they are found alone!))
(5pm) Hectic day!
I need to make some new tapes for myself to take to work and on the road. (I wish I had a cd player at work and in the truck, but that will have to wait.)
Roz (she is an older woman who works in the Treasurer’s office) says a big black guy came in yesterday and bought a business license for an escort service. (He told her they charge $150 per hour.)-(He told her that the women sign a contract with him saying they won’t charge for sex.) (I thought about saying something but all the women in the break room were pissed that there now was a business like that here. (How else are shy guys supposed to get laid?))
This new frig opens in the opposite direction from the last one. (I keep reaching for a handle that isn’t there.)-(I will learn.)-(Tis nice having a good frig for a change.)
I had a nice chat with Lauren today. (She says she is mellowing out on the slopes. (She used to race, but feels she needs to slow down now that she is getting older.))