(11pm) Quiet nite. (Nice!)
11-23-87
(8am) Most of the r-rated movies on cable tv are pretty poor, but I have watched a bunch of them. (Especially the first year after my divorce. (Every nite after the bars, I would go back to the trailer and watch r-rated movies instead of going to the x-rated after hours parties.)) (They are about the only way I get to see a naked woman and that is a joy!) (Hopefully someday I will beat the phobias and find a woman who enjoys sex and wants to play with me!) (For now my phobic reaction blocks me from experiencing the reality and fantasy is the only option available to me.)
(9am) Well I went and dropped off that project at the City. (He says there were 50 applicants. (Amazing!)) (I will know later today.)
(Noon) "Mad Movies" sure are a hoot!
I suppose the reason I don't watch many r-rated movies anymore is my x-rated one is a better tool for fantasy.
(1pm) I got the City job. (Yeah!) (I have a meeting with him later to go over some details like salary.) (Such a relief!)
One advantage of the x-rated video is that it has helped me in my therapy. (Confronting sex on the fantasy level is a good first step and a useful tool for desensitizing me to my sexual aversion.)
(4pm) Nice workout! (I had figured on losing a lot of repetitions after a 12-day break, but I hardly lost any.)
I am going to have to spend some time studying spreadsheet software for this job. (This job will require using that software a lot.)
(6pm) The meeting with my new boss went well and we went through the details of the job. (I will be starting 12/7 and will start at $1,633 a month. (Not the kind of money I was looking for at the beginning of this search, but a paycheck is a paycheck.)-(Tis pretty much the same pay as my last two jobs and will be enough to cover survival costs and payments on the marriage debts.))
I think I will go ahead and get a cat now.
(10pm) Quiet nite. (Nice!)
11-24-87
(7am) The reason I didn't get that first City job was they promoted my new boss from within to fill that job. (This job is the one my boss vacated when he moved up.)
(9am) I caught up with all my pen pals and let them know the good news.
(11am) Miranda called to congratulate me on the job. (She is a sweetheart!)