(2pm) Although I think I need to choose women my everyday aspect can enjoy and grow from experiencing, I have to change so my sexual aspect is close enough to the surface for them to see him. (Otherwise women's unconscious reaction to me is that I am "too nice to fuck".) (I would say my experience with Sharon indicates it may be closer to the surface than it once was, but only getting out more will tell me whether that is true or not. (Keep trying to conquer the phobias.))
One thing I have seen a lot of people have a problem with in business is getting into a position where they have to make money. (e.g., one of my bosses here had buried himself in debt to give his wife all the things she wanted, and now everything has to go exactly right, or he loses everything. (Including her.))-(Odds are in favor of losing everything, as everything never goes exactly right.) (It clouds one's judgement when everything has to go right, and you lose the flexibility to change as the markets change.) (The object of making money in any market is to buy low and sell high. The trick is to figure out what is a bottom in the cycle and what is a top, without letting greed, pride, desperation, …, clouds one's reasoning.) (I think another mistake is to bet most everything on one market, and to not make bets against oneself. (And, right now, I would want at least 10% in some form of real money, just in case the worst case scenario unfolds.)) (My aspect that studied the markets and business seems to be coming back now too. (Neat.)) (Tis weird, but any aspect I built prior to my divorce seems to have been at least partially lost, and now they are beginning to appear out of nowhere.)
(6pm) Another two-hour massage. (Nice.)
My skin sure soaks up this oil.
(10pm) Quiet nite. (Nice.)
10-21-87
(7am) I suppose house cleaning in general is another of my obnoxious habits. (Hunter gave me a lot of lectures about my sloppiness. (He said women like guys with clean houses. (I told him, if he wanted to impress women, he should clean, as I wasn't interested.)))
Isn't emotional intimacy how we get to know each other's everyday selves? (And, later in a relationship, isn't it important because our everyday selves are changing and evolving, and without emotional intimacy, we become strangers? (e.g., if Carrie and I don't talk for a long time, I will be so different from who she knew, as to be a stranger.))