10-20-87
(7am) In the Paw days I met a number of people whose philosophy about the opposite sex was, "They all look the same upside down.", which they used as a cornerstone in their lifestyle of fucking everyone and not forming relationships. (I would say that is an example of defining the opposite gender as an inferior species, because they couldn't see that the same thing is true of their own gender. (And, I still think that is an outgrowth of not spending time with people of the opposite gender, as fellow human beings.)) (The guys I knew who used that line a lot were the Belgrade crew. (I knew their habits outside the bars from hanging out with them for awhile during the first six months of my divorce, so I will use them as an example.) (They had jobs where they worked with men, and most of their social time was with other men.) (About the only time they spent with women was when they were horny and picked someone up. (Looking at that with the aspect model, their seduction and sexual aspects got to know the b-movie harlot and sexual aspects of women; but their everyday aspects have never met the everyday aspects of women.)-(About the only time they saw women was "upside down", and at that time we all do look pretty much the same.))) (I know that is how my sexual aspect is. (That is why I am constantly falling in lust, and how I know he will be happy with whomever I choose, as long as she enjoys sex. (Find someone my everyday aspect enjoys and can live with, and if she is a sexual person, he will be happy.))) (I would say that is true of all the situations where we mentally create subspecies of human beings. (There is always something that we see, and then don't look any further. (e.g., some men see women and just see sex.)-(e.g., some whites see a black person and just see black.)-(Maybe there are other ways to do it; but I know I have had a lot of attitudes like that, and I broke them down by spending time with and making friends with people who I had that attitude about. (Each time, what I discovered was that we are all pretty much the same, and that there aren't any subspecies. (Just fellow human beings.) (Maybe saying I broke them down isn't quite accurate? (e.g., my sexual aspect still sees sex when he sees women; but my everyday aspect knows, in meeting someone new, it's more important to check out her eyes and listen to what she says.)))))
My intuition telling me to look for a girlfriend who is an extravert would fit into that physics model. (Who ever I choose to live with, over time, I am going to model.) (In that model, I need to find someone who sees things in me she would like to model, and who I see things in I would like to learn.) (Maybe the answer though is to find friends who are extroverts and model them? (Make all the changes I want to make in me, and then begin looking for a girlfriend.)) (I think, with modeling, the goal is to not get too carried away, and to focus one's competitive urges inwards. (I have read some on the mentor - prized student situation, and a frequent problem there is competitiveness. (The student models the mentor; but at some point they feel the urge to compete with each other, as the student begins to absorb everything the mentor has to teach and begins to move off onto their own. (There needs to be a break, so that the student isn't simply a mirror image of the teacher; but I think there are better ways to accomplish it than destroying the relationship through competition.)))) (When I model someone, I need to also remember to make it my own. (e.g., one way to become a better fisherman would be to go with people who are better and model their behaviors. (As long as I remember I am only trying to acquire a new skill, and not become a carbon copy of my teachers, I think that is a super way to learn.))))
One advantage of writing all this down is, if I start losing aspects again, I can read about them and find them again. (I don't think I will though.)
I suppose the reason massage triggers more memories in me, than exercise does, is I was never an athlete. (I have worked with my hands for over two decades now.)