Some people say that our sex drive's purpose is procreation; but it occurred to me today that they are wrong. (If it were, that urge would hit us like it does other animals.) (I would say the increase in that urge many feel in the spring is our procreation urge.) (I think it's to get humans to touch each other regularly, to satisfy our need to touch and be touched. (I think that is why couples should spend at least as much time touching and trading massages, as making love.))
I have gotten some benefit out of the idea of using the mirror effect of the music box glass to change my self image; and more so, since it occurred to me to combine it with the massage therapy. (In comparing my reflection in the glass with the bodies of men in this video, it occurred to me that there aren't any real differences. (I have deceived myself often that looks are my sexual problem, and that is probably the root of leaving my self image at 315 pounds (The only real difference between me and men who have lovers is attitude and behavior. (If I deal with the phobias, my attitude and behavior will change so women aren't turned off to me anymore.))))
I am still torn about the modeling part of the learning theory model. (I have to figure out what attitudes and behaviors fit who I want to be, before I choose people to model.)
I would say getting into touching now is me getting closer to my own feminine aspect. (Neat.) (I think we have to change our cultural conditioning so that men start accepting their need to touch and be touched.)
(1pm) Romantic or not, I am glad I rediscovered my masseur aspect. (Neat!)
(4pm) Nice workout.
Today's stock market crash moves my paper trade from the rich to super rich category. (If I had been able to do it, I would get out now and retire.)
Without communication (verbal, non-verbal, touching, and sexual), there is no relationship. (People need to have lots of physical and emotional intimacy in their relationships, to keep making more magic!)
(6pm) Another two hours massage. (Yum.) (Trading massages and making love with a woman would be a far more effective way to condition the pleasure - sex connection; but this is better than nothing.)
(7pm) Erica and Charlotte dropped by for a visit. (Neat!)
(10pm) Quiet nite. (Nice.)