From what I have read and experienced, women are generally more concerned about the quantity and quality of the touching in their relationships, than the quantity and quality of the sex. (Isn't that their intuition telling them that, by not touching more, he is committing suicide and killing her?) (Why not just trade massages every day? (That is a beautiful experience!))
One thing I have noticed with massage is that my back feels left out.
One thing I heard in this last telling of those divorce and marriage stories was the compulsion I got to go to massage parlors and prostitutes. Back then, those compulsions, and responding to them, brought me tremendous amounts of guilt and I felt I was somehow evil. Looking at it now though, I see what they really were. (They were very loud messages from my unconscious that there was something very wrong with my marriage. (Figuring that out made me feel a lot better about myself.)-(Neat.)-(Tis amazing all the things I am starting to see and remember lately!))-(If I ever experience that again, I will skip responding to the compulsion, and either start trying to solve the problem with the relationship or get the fuck out.)
I have a compulsion to solve my sexual aversion, and I think that is my unconscious saying I need to solve that problem first. (Tis important to my health, among other things.)
One thing that bothers me about the learning theory model is that it isn’t very romantic.
If that physics model applies to some social interaction, maybe there would be some use in me spending time with Gwynn? (I sometimes feel I am not competitive enough. (Maybe being around her would make me a little more competitive and make her a little less so?)) (Maybe the reason that happens is that we have a tendency to model the behavior of the people around us? (e.g., for me to spend time around an extravert, I have to model their behavior and do the things they do.)) (Interesting puzzle.)
From 14 or so, no one in my home touched each other physically. (Maybe that is part of why I got into massage? (Maybe that is why a lot of people with dysfunctional home lives start sex and cigs early?)) (Oh well, I survived.)
(7pm) Veterinarians tell us that we need to brush our dogs daily as it stimulates their blood circulation, making them happier, healthier, and live longer. It occurred to me today that at one time, when they ran in packs, dogs took care of that need for each other, in the everyday course of their lives. Now, in domestication, we have to do it for them with brushes and pats on the head. (Maybe through the process of becoming "civilized", we have ended up using more and more substitutes for satisfying that need too. (Why, when our veterinarians bang the drum for us to take care of our pet’s needs for touching, so they will be happier and healthier; don't doctors do the same for us to accept our need for touching, to be happier and healthier?) (My initial reaction was that cats seem to need less touching than dogs, but on thinking about it more, maybe they just take care of more of that need for themselves?) (Men seem to touch less in the U.S.; but I think that is just our conditioning showing through, and I would guess everyone needs about the same amount of touching in their lives.))
I would say that my ex suppressed my aspect that enjoyed the company of men, in pretty much the same way she did with my masseur aspect. (I had to give up all my friends and even mentioning their names meant to another rage. (She thought she should be the only person in my life.))
I wonder if some fabrics do more to satisfy our need for physical intimacy than others do?