A lot of affairs I have seen seem to be for the purpose of satisfying some part of that person which their mate doesn't. (e.g., Samantha uses them for sexual acts she likes but Leo doesn't, and to spend time with men who have a different type of personality than Leo. (e.g., the guy Samantha does most often isn't a good lover, according to her; but where Leo tends to be highly analytical, practical, a workaholic, … Norris is spontaneous, spends a lot of time playing lots of different games, and avoids work like the plague. (I like both of them, but they are way different people. (Actually the new tv show "My two dads" reminds me of them.)))) (On the other hand, if Carly was hinting at an affair with me the other nite, I don't think that would be what it was about. (I am too much like Ross to serve as someone useful for satisfying any cravings she has for someone different.)-(Maybe her motive, if that is what she was suggesting, was to use me to get access to my computer skills and resources? (Erica commented once that Carly used Ross's editing and typing skills to help her while she was studying writing, and maybe now that she is studying business she is looking for someone who has skills and tools which would help her in those studies?))) (I can relate to wanting to spend time with a variety of different personality types. (I do the same thing, but when the moments come around when others might slide off to the bedroom, I don't let it happen. (Anytime two people spend a lot of time together; they are going to be together sometimes when their sexual aspects come out. (e.g., Samantha spends a lot of time with Norris. (When he gets horny, if she is hot too, she figures why not.)))-(I would say that Samantha fit into my life, sort of like Norris does into hers. (Erica and Carrie are more spontaneous than I am; but don't even come close to Samantha. (If I wanted some time of just being silly, or was way sad and needed cheering up; I would choose someone like Samantha to spend a little time with.))))
Some men seem to hold the attitude that when they provide something for a woman's everyday self (e.g., shelter, food, drinks, drugs, ….), she should introduce her sexual aspect to theirs; but I try to always give freely of whatever is mine, and not ask anything in return. (e.g., I fed Samantha a lot, bought her lots of drinks, fed her lots of drugs, gave her a place to crash, loaned her my car, and some men would have tried to charge her sex for all that. I charged nothing and got back lots of beautiful moments, which she gave to me for free. (I think that is how relationships should work.)) (Carrie got into that trip pretty heavy in the past, to get cocaine.) (I didn't view myself as buying sex from my ex; but maybe part of the problem in that relationship was that, down deep, she viewed it as that? (That would fit with her using my fear of her at the end, to get a good settlement.) (My ex told me that everyone in her family held that a woman's value laid between their legs and once looks were gone, she had better be set for life.)-(And, six years of selling it in strip joints, reinforced that attitude.)) (Maybe one problem in dependent relationships is that, on some level, the people are charging and paying for sex, rather than giving it freely? (I suppose that is another thing that worried me about a relationship with Sharon. (It could have ended up with her feeling she was buying me.))-(Maybe that is part of why my ex didn't want to know my everyday self and punished him so much? (And, part of why she seemed to strive to keep my sexual aspect out a lot of the time we were together? (He is dumb and is easily manipulated by women.)))) (Anyway I think I will continue to give freely of what is mine and not ask for any payment. (If Carly wants computer help, I will give it freely.))