She commented that someone who just watched tv would have a distorted view of life. (I agreed, and commented that the same is true of any situation where most of one's experiences of life are limited in scope. (I used the example of living in bars; and how that tends to paint too cynical a picture of life, just as tv tends to paint too pretty a picture. (She said it was probably the alcohol; but I think, more specifically, it's because bars tend to be the place people go to work out their anger.))) (Another example would be my ex living in strip joints for seven years, and having a job where she was expected to encourage married men to cheat on their wives. (As a result, her view of men was that they all constantly cheat on their wives. (That is a part of life, and to hope there will never be a moment when one's mate will crave another lover, doesn't fit being human; but her perception of that part of life was out of proportion with reality.))) (Actually, I suppose every job and career tends to distort how one perceives life. (e.g., I know when I spend a lot of time with accounting; money gains a greater importance in my analysis of life than it should.)) (I think we all need to collect a wide variety of experiences, looking at life from all sorts of different angles and altered states, to even begin to see the world as it is!)
I seem to write a lot unconsciously. (I wonder sometimes where it's leading me; but, somehow, I trust it. (Keep writing what pops into my mind, and see where I end up.))
(7am) I still think I should choose women to be with, in my everyday self. (The women he chooses are all neat people.) (My sexual aspect is dumb, and I think that is how he should be. (Thinking just screws up sex, and I think that is what Carrie is sensing when she chooses dumb guys for lovers. (Maybe I should have introduced my sexual aspect to the part of her that enjoys dumb men?)) (I know part of why Sharon turned me off was that she kept thinking in bed.)) (I want to find someone who isn't going to be constantly cutting me like my ex did, who my everyday self can live with. (That way when I do let my sexual aspect out, he doesn't get me into trouble.))
Last time I did shrooms, I had a vision that has helped me. (And, I would say it's why I am experiencing this current spurt of writing.)
(8am) One way in which Carrie seems to have better integrated her various aspects than Erica and Samantha have is that, when Carrie is in her aspect that enjoys men who are different from me, she still remembers me. (When Erica and Samantha are there, it's as if they have forgotten who I am, and they have cut me sometimes.) (Carrie would simply tell me, in a nice way, to go somewhere else; and that it wasn't a time for us to be together. (If I had ever ignored her and hung around, I think she would have chopped a chunk out of me sometimes too; but I am not that dumb.))
One problem with Carrie not choosing a beau from the "pretty boy" category is that one form of sex therapy is lost. (Fantasy works for urges for a different personality, but wouldn't work for a craving for a different set of physical characteristics.) (Maybe though there are some sexual cravings that will always require an occasional fling to satisfy? (e.g., Samantha's craving for doing two guys at the same time.)-(e.g., mine for doing two women at the same time.)) (Interesting puzzle.)
(11am) I like Steve Winwood's song "Valarie".
And, Sting's new one "Together tonight".
My music collection would be another way the variety of aspects within me shows through.