The book I am reading now says that one is unlikely to find love, unless they are in a "state of love readiness". (I think that is valid. (I know that, given my state of mind and attitudes now, finding love (or even meeting women) is highly unlikely; and I would need to make some radical changes in my behavior to increase the odds of it happening.)
It would be nice if I could make money by doing what I am doing now! (Study and write.) (I would add social aspects and not work so many hours, if it was generating money. (Also, I know that this time will end when I go back to a job, and I am pushing to get as much of this done before that happens. (Pursuing two careers makes life really busy.))) (Oh well, take advantage of this time out from accounting and get as much done as I can, while it lasts.) (It has been a good eleven months of unemployment, overall. (I am happier, healthier, have increased my accounting skills, and have accomplished the bulk of the work on "Feelings" and "Outlaws and Poets".))
Tis fair week again. (Maybe I will get to go if some money comes in.) (That is a great girl watching spot!)
Two models I have run across:
1. In the relationship model, they suggest that we go through a "refractory period" during the "being out of love" phase, where it simply isn’t possible to fall in love again.
2. In the sexual model, the "refractory period" is the time after orgasm, for men, when another orgasm is physiologically impossible.
Maybe sex is a similar but smaller cycle that runs within the longer cycle of a relationship? (Maybe people complain about one nite stands because the two cycles have to run together for us to feel harmony?)
(11am) I got a letter from Carrie today. (Neat!)
She commented on not being able to write lately. (I have been there. (It used to bother me; but I have come to accept that the unconscious mind is busy with something during those times, doing whatever it is it does for us.)-(It isn’t something one can or should fight, or feel bad about! (Just ride it out and wait for writing to come back around again.)))
I have been feeling a compulsion lately to get as much done as I can, and have cut out a lot of extra things. (I don't feel I am about out of time here; but that my life is going to fill up soon with other things, and I need to get as much writing done now as possible.)
Carrie says I should loosen up. (I will try.) (I think the approach I will try next is a very gradual one. (Take little steps, and let myself adapt to each new level before moving on to the next.))
Carrie commented that my letters aren't something she would read any old time. (My writing wouldn't fit a lot of moments.)
Erica gave me Irving Stone's "Origin" (bio of Charles Darwin) for my birthday four years ago. (For some reason it
reminded me of me.)
(1pm) Time for a reading break.
(3pm) Nice workout.