Their comment in "Love me" about depression rubbing clean a person's list of joys interested me too. (I have pretty much done that these past five years, but I am not sure that is all bad. (Tis a way to gain time to think, heal, …; and that is good.) (And, now I am beginning to fill up my list again, a little at a time. (I think it's slow because I am checking out each new item to see if it's really something positive for me.)-(I do have lots of joys collected now, and that is part of why I am mostly happy. (I just need to work on choosing some new activities that involve other people instead of only choosing one’s I can do alone.))))
It has been nice wearing shorts all summer, but I am about ready for sweater weather. (I love autumn!) (If I can afford the gas, I will have to take a drive up in the mountains and enjoy the colors.)
I hope I didn't offend Carly by spacing off her invitation the other nite.
(9am) I think one of the biggest advantages of having Erica and Carrie to share with is it makes me so I am not desperate for companionship. (Choices made when I have been desperate have usually turned out pretty poorly.) (When I have worked through enough of my problems, so I am ready to try with others again; hopefully I will be able to chose people who I enjoy; and not be choosing just anyone because I am desperate and lonely!) (Tis a nice feeling.)
The past year has been one of the most productive of my life, and I feel I have grown a lot. (I think this unemployment came at a good point in my life, and has allowed much to happen that needed to happen.)
I have been craving to set down roots. (I don't think I will if I have to move to a big city to find work though. (Just make money, pay bills, and wait for an opportunity to move back.))
(10am) I suppose investing money in things I am not using now (e.g., fishing gear, bike, camping gear, skis, ….) seems silly to some; but it's felt like the right thing to do when I have had extra money. (Tis nice having the options available to me.) (And, unless I die soon or become physically incapable, I believe I will put it all to use.) (Regardless of how much money I make in the next few years, most of the excess over survival needs will go to my debts; and I am not likely to have extra money for such things.) (This way all I have to do is find the courage to step out of my shell, and won't need a lot of money to expand my life a lot.) (I feel I have been putting together the pieces for a new life, and all the things I have collected will fit into it.)
In "Love me" they talk about sex being a form of communication. (Maybe there was so much sex in my marriage, in part, because there wasn't any other real communication going on?)
(11am) I did get some guilt from the last book. (The example that they use for other forms of betrayal that cause the same impacts as infidelity was of the spouse who just disappears. (I didn't handle exiting from my marriage very well; but it was the only way I was able to pull it off, and I had to get out. (Feeling guilty over that was probably why I didn't hire a lawyer and got stuck with a bad divorce settlement.) (Oh well, that is the past and I can't change it, so focus on making my way through now and into the future.)))