(4pm) I decided to continue with spring cleaning today. (I better keep on, while the mood lasts. (Who knows when I will get into cleaning again.))
(6pm) Nice walk.
(11pm) Quiet nite. (Nice.)
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(7am) I am still undecided about going through "Outlaws and poets" and changing all the names. (I doubt I will ever publish and that would take a lot of work.)
I seem to have lost my cleaning mood.
I have to find some new project to get into.
(8am) Looks like a beautiful morning.
(9am) I put a new ribbon on the computer’s printer. (Much better.)
I think, given the reality of life, I will have to eventually adopt some form of sexual polygamy, to attain my goal of a steady girlfriend; but which, and how do I break my sexual block? (The idea of being celibate until one finds a friend with whom there is more is romantic, nice and sweet; but it doesn't fit reality.)-(Women enjoy sex too, and it's unlikely they are going to be celibate long-term, waiting. (And, it's the fellows who are willing to play with them, whom they will form the strong bonds that come with sexuality. (And, it's those bonds that are the basis for long-term non-platonic relationships!))) (As long as all my relationships remain platonic, those women are going to find other men to play with; and those men, not me, are who they will spend most of their time with, and from whom they will chose a beau!) (Another thing that would worry me in going from celibacy to monogamy is the fear that I was getting into a relationship merely to have a lover in my life.) (Oh well.) (I am not complaining about platonic relationships! (They are beautiful and all I can deal with for now!))
I don't think that intro ads or dating services are the answer for me. (The people who have turned to them seem to be desperate for a long-term relationship, and I have a lot of growing to do first! (And, I am not desperate. (I am content and mostly happy with only myself, and need to meet lots of people and find someone I enjoy being with, not just go out and find anyone!))) (I can see potential for good in a long term relationship, but there is potential for bad also!) (I always think of Billie when I think of that desperation. (She was consumed by loneliness, overpowered by trying to raise three kids alone, tired of poverty, and very much into bible thumping; and she was ready to marry the next man who passed through her life. (And, she did. (What she got was insane jealousy; beatings; alienation from her family, church, friends; ….)) (I think that she ended up lonelier than before. (Or maybe that is just a projection? (I did the same thing with my ex, and I ended up lonelier than I was before! (Oh well, I chose it, and I did learn a lot about sex and some other parts of life I had been ignorant of. (I have no regrets.)-(Nor any desire to repeat the experience!))))))