(9am) Colin Wilson wrote that one in twenty are leaders, one
in twenty have some occult faculty, and one in twenty are Poets. (I wonder if that is a
genetic holdover from the ages when a tribe of twenty was about normal?) (Maybe that
speaks to what we need to accept now? (i.e., that we need leaders, magic, and story
tellers.)) (I wonder how a genetic link to groups of twenty ties into the business
management question of plant size? (In theory, the bigger the plant, the more efficient it
should be; but they have discovered, in reality, that when a plant gets much over two
hundred workers, the efficiency starts going down. (I suppose part of the reason for the
push towards greater mechanization, is to increase the plant size without increasing the
number of people; and hopefully, therein, to find greater efficiency.)))
I wonder if a lot of why jealousy kills love is that it gets in the way of intimacy and commitment? (I know, with my ex, I couldn't be open and honest with her for fear of attacks, and what I did say and do was structured around not setting off another attack. (It isn’t possible to be intimate and commit to someone you fear and don't trust.)) (Maybe part of why I stayed so long in that relationship was that I just didn't want intimacy and commitment?) (I wonder if all the sex in that relationship tied into our social conditioning that intimacy and sexuality are the same things? (Tis very possible to have intimacy without sex, and sex without intimacy.))
Looking back at a lot of the relationships I have seen in the past, I can't help but wonder if a lot of the motivation in forming them was to avoid intimacy and commitment. (And to live out self destructive tendencies.)
(10am) I have to continue to work on separating my concepts of sexuality and intimacy. (It would be nice to find a relationship that held both; but, in the mean time, I have to learn to accept that there will be relationships that are only one or the other, and that that is okay! (And, truly accept that there may never be one that is both; and stop denying myself relationships that are only one or the other. (That is just self pity and isn't useful!)))
I still feel the war on drugs is wrong! (There are deaths and people who are hurt; but there is also Art and magic that come out of it, that make it worthwhile! (Drugs allow people to see life from different levels of awareness, and helps to push forward evolution.) (Tis a gift to us from nature, and as with all other gifts we receive from nature, it's also a curse. (If we become so obsessed with stamping out curses, that we give away all of our gifts as well; we are in big trouble.)) (I think it should all be legalized, lots of money spent on rational (as opposed to the current paranoid) education about the reality of those choices, treatment centers for addicts, ….) (I would think they could see the hopelessness of their strategy (e.g., that "20/20" on the DEA); but obviously not.) (From the financial point of view alone, it's logical to me. (Stop wasting hundreds of billions trying to enforce unenforceable laws, and start collecting the billions in tax dollars that are available from that business.))
I think the dui laws now are bad too. (They reduce the number of deaths, but they are also reducing social interaction and promoting alienation. (Each time they do something like that, more and more people stay home with their tv sets, rather than going out and being with others.)) (I still think the solution is to bring back neighborhood bars, so people can walk.)
Evolution requires mutants and outlaws; but we seem to be obsessed with mediocrity! (The price of taking risk from life is stagnation of the culture and the individuals within it!) (I have taken myself close to death many times now, and I am a better man because of it!) (We have the potential to continue to grow, both as a culture and as individuals; but not unless we explore all of our limitations! (And, the only way to discover them is to go out to the edge! (Some are going to fall over and not return, but how else is there?)))