I picked a present and a card to send to Joe for his birthday.
(6pm) Nice walk. (One problem with not wearing underwear is I have to be careful when I wear shorts, so that I don't fall out of them. (Or, do women enjoy a little peak, now and then?))
Carrie commented that she has been thinking about having kids. (I think she would be a good mother.) (Another reason I never chased her or Erica is that I feel they would both make great mothers, and, being sterile, I am not the guy for them.)
One nite during my last trip to Bozeman, Samantha went on for a long time about how I could get my vasectomy reversed. (I have made my contribution to the world population.) (Given the low probability of success, the cost, and the risks involved, I have no desire to go back under the knife for that.) (Another way I have heard about is to have the sperm drawn off by a doctor, from below the cut, and then use artificial insemination techniques to impregnate the woman; but that is extremely expensive.) (Oh well.)
(11pm) Quiet nite of tv. (Nice.)
I am still happy.
4-22-87
(3pm) Nice workout.
Maybe I am deceiving myself; but, until I am ready for a more serious relationship, I think my relationship with Erica is good for me. (It provides me with companionship through our letter exchanges, requires little money, leaves my time open to work on what needs doing now, provides me with caring and sharing, …; and I think it fits my current needs nicely. (Celibacy gets old, but I still seem to be more comfortable with that than f'ing around.))
It would be tempting to use a woman like Sharon, who has a good job, money in the bank, and property; but I am just not comfortable with that. (If I met and fell for someone like that, who really wanted me in her life; I wouldn't shut her out because of it, but I would want to structure it so that I am not using her to pay off my marriage.)
Many have told me that I got screwed financially in my divorce; but it's my obligation. (There are ways (e.g., changing jobs each time they start garnishing my wages) to get out of paying it; but, in the long run, I have a feeling that running away from the problem would make it and my life worse! (Just work, pay it off, and put it in the past!))
(6pm) It finally warmed up enough for some more sun tanning, so I went down to the park for awhile. (That felt nice.)
(8pm) Erica called and bs'd a bit. (Tis nice hearing her voice now and then.)
(10pm) Quiet nite of tv. (Nice.)