She is looking around Missoula, to see if she can find me a lady of the nite here. (Spending five hours on the road to get laid is a bit much, and the odds of one here having Aids might be less than there. (I have insisted on wearing condoms there, but they still consider them optional in Wallace.))
Being able to cope with one nite stands isn’t a final goal, or what I really need; but it's a step along the way to a long-term relationship. (And, I need to grow to where I possess that skill, so that I can take care of those needs without visiting Wallace or Rosie.)
(2pm) Laundry time again.
I wonder how much sex would be right for me? (Twas nice experiencing a lot of sex, but it had its problems too.) (All I know is that it's somewhere between once a year and twice a day.)
I am curious to see how my meeting with Sharon goes. (And, it will be interesting checking out a new bar. (A couple of people have told me that I would have better luck meeting women in bars on the south side, than in the one’s downtown; but they are too far to walk to, and I am not going to risk a dui.))
I wonder if I will ever be able to let go of the past, and leave now open to be a happier and wholer life for me?
(4pm) Now I am starting to get nervous about tonite's meeting.
(5pm) I went for a walk and burned off some of the tension. (I do have a problem with getting comfortable around women. (Especially with the idea of sexuality!))
I picked up a "do not disturb" sign on one of my trips, and I have hung it on the inside of door to my apartment, as a joke to myself. (I have been acting like I think everything outside my door shouldn't be disturbed by me, so it's a fitting comment.) (Maybe someday I will get around to turning it over so it says that the outside is in need of maid service?)
I have been watching the want ads for jobs, but there hasn't been anything in Missoula for ages.
(10pm) Nice evening. (We split a pitcher of beer down at Curly's bar, then we had dinner at The Shack, and we had a nice visit.) (She works for the post office, early forty's, married but in the process of getting a divorce, two grown daughters, owns her own home, two cars and a truck, she is about 6', thin, and good looking. She says she has spent most of the three years she has been separated in the bars, and has fucked a lot of men. Now she is tired of that scene, wants to do things besides hanging out in bars, and is looking for a steady beau.) (She is nice and would be fun to go for hikes and bike rides with, but I am just not where she is at. (She has done the single scene for three years, and I haven't even begun! (I haven't even worked through my block with sexuality, let alone had the experience of a lot of women. (I am slow, and it's going to take me years to get to the point where she is now.))))
When I got home, I got a call from Reggie and we had a really nice chat.
Nice evening.