Then to 4-B's for some food.
I started a new poem tonite. (Neat.) (I have about ten started now. (Hopefully one of these days I will get the urge to finish them.)
(Noon) I sure got hammered last nite.
I am feeling good now.
I suppose the question that is more relevant than whether I will get any response to my intro ad, is whether I will find the courage to answer any I get. (Maybe Wallace is more my speed?)
(2pm) I got caught up on all my letter writing, so my pen pals should be happy for another week.
I haven't gotten silly for a long time. (Maybe, next time I go out, I should add in some shrooms to the mixture?)
(10pm) Quiet day of reading and tv. (Nice.)
From things that Carrie has said to me, I get the feeling she thinks I should be working now on both intimacy and commitment. (I still think I need to break them down and deal with them one at a time.) (A girlfriend would be nice, but I would be concerned that I chose her out of desperation, if I simply settled down with the first (or one of the first) to come into my life.) (Oh well, wait and see what the future holds.)
3-23-87
(10am) I wish people wouldn't laugh at me about my fantasies and Wallace. (Those are the only forms of warmth in my life; but I suppose that a thirty-six year old man who isn't able to get laid is pretty funny.)
My morning has started out shitty. (Normally, I sit around naked reading the paper and drinking coffee, after my bath; but no paper was delivered today. (I am very much a creature of habit, and when something goes wrong so I am thrown out of it, it screws up my whole day.))
(11am) I suppose I had better get dressed.
I was planning to end this runner today and get back to work; but I don't think so now. (I have only been putting in two to four hours a day on work the last couple of weeks; but I just can't seem to get into work now.)
A lot of women have told me that my rule about not getting involved with anyone at work is silly. (Maybe, if I was really good at figuring out whom is interested and who isn’t, I would give that a try; but I am terrible at that. (Given my track record of chasing the wrong women, I think it's pure insanity to do so.)) (The women who tell me that rule is bad, usually then tell me that is where they met their husbands. (Which is another reason for not chasing at work. (I am not looking for a wife now.)))
Although I have met a lot of women who are willing to pay their own way, it hasn't been often that they actually could. (Tis just another of life's realities.) (Or have I just met the wrong women?) (Oh well, I had a lot of fun, and it was worth paying their way!)