Tis about time I got serious with my studies again. (Tis tough finding time for partying and work, but, if I don't do the work, there is no money to party with.) (Maybe I should just bury myself in accounting and writing, and find some way to afford a weekly trip to Wallace?)
One draw back to x-tops is that they seem to make me even more tense than I am naturally.
I suppose getting into cocaine would be self-destructive. (And, I suppose I should be looking for women who want to be with me, for me, not because I have cocaine around.)
(4am) I can see the appeal of cocaine (I can also see that now isn’t the time for me to go exploring that alley.)
There are advantages to no lovers and little companionship. (e.g., my life is simple and definitely no soap opera.)
(Noon) I feel pretty good. (Now to work on finishing the restoration project, so I will be ready to do it again tonite.) (As tempting as Wallace seems sometimes, I think I need to keep investing the time and money in going to bars. (Tis tough getting all the work done, and finding time and money to build a social life; but I need some companionship more than Wallace, and that is part of the puzzle I have to unravel.))
(1pm) I still think, before I take myself back out on the streets; I have to do a lot of work on me, so that I am someone fun to be with and I am capable of contributing to the relationships that I will find. (I think that, once I work through the problems with me, I may well discover that I have little or no problem finding friends or lovers.) (Keep trying to grow and evolve into a better man.)
I wouldn't be surprised if I get no response from my intro ad:
1. Saying I am a smoker excludes a lot of women.
2. Not saying anything about a goal of a long-term relationship probably excludes a lot more women.
3. Saying I am looking for a woman who can afford to pay her own way also cuts out quite a few. (I tried to compensate a little for that one by including some cheap things in the list of things I enjoy doing.)
4. I can't help but wonder if referring to myself as "quiet" turns off a lot of women too? (Originally I used "shy", but Erica suggested "quiet".)
(3pm) Nice walk.
(9pm) Quiet nite of tv so far.
I ate four x-tops and it's about time to go check out the bars.
3-22-87
(3am) The music and girl watching were nice at Hubcaps. (Mostly it was couples and single guys though.) (I saw the woman from the Club that I am in lust with at Hubcaps. (It looks like she has at least one beau.))
I stopped in Corky's too, and bought Dell a drink.