Actually, I can't bitch about being alone. (I am learning to enjoy my own company, and mostly I am happy.) (I am really enjoying my studies now.) (Tis neat figuring all this new software out.) (There is still an awareness, in me, that there are things others can contribute to my live, and things I can contribute to their lives; but my gut feeling is that it's still not the time for that.)
I will have to check and see if my small mattress will fit in the bed of my truck. (If it will I could do some pretty comfortable camping this summer.)
3-16-87
(1am) Well, I caught up with all my pen pals again. (Neat.)
Now I had better go look for sleep.
(11am) If my good mood continues and I don't start using a lot of defenses; once I start getting out here, I think my luck with women may improve.
(3pm) Nice workout.
(6pm) I got a nice letter from Carrie today. (She sounds better than in a long time!) (She joined the Y, started working out on Nautilus, and dumped the jealous beau.) (She sent along some ideas for my intro ad, so I rewrote the one I had started and sent it off to the paper. (I wonder how that will workout?)) (She and Erica both suggested ideas along the lines of looking for a long-lasting relationship, but I am not ready for that part of life now. (I think that is a good long-term goal, but I have a lot of growing to do, before I will be ready.))
(11pm) Quiet nite.
3-17-87
(11am) Happy St Paddy's day!
(1pm) Erica dropped by for a short visit on her lunch hour. (That was sweet of her.)
(2pm) I must have done some things right in my bar days, or I wouldn't have collected so many wonderful women friends; but I have to figure out what I did that made them all too uncomfortable to play with me, and change those attitudes and behaviors. (It seems to be a slow process.)
I still sometimes wonder if it wouldn't be nice to find someplace where guys don't out number women in the bars, but other fellows here seem to do all right. (And, until Iii figure out how to change my behavior, it probably wouldn't make any difference.) (Carrie talks about how beautiful the women in California are, but I fall in lust with most of the women I see here, so that isn’t a reason for leaving either.)