(11pm) I just got back from Michael's. (He and I bs'd a bit about business, and then went down to the to the Trails End and shot some pretty good pool.) (Then we went back to his place. (The women and their kids were there, and we cooked dinner, bs'd, played cards, and watched some tv. (I enjoyed spending some time with kids again. (It has been a long time.)-(And, it's positive that that experience no longer depresses me.))) (Why is it people say someone needs to lose a "few" pounds, when they really mean 100? (Also, she is straight and her eyes don't do anything for me. (Oh well, I am not ready for that part of living yet, so it doesn't really matter.)))
3-9-87
(1am) Well, I finished typing the second addition to my journal, from Erica's letters. (Word processors sure make life easier.) (I enjoy taking a walk through the past like that now and then. (It made me realize how boring I have been.))
I hope my honesty didn't annoy Erica too much.
Looking back, the reason that I started hanging out at Corky's, when I first moved to Missoula, was that Erica said she never went there anymore. (Tis a nice bar and I like it there; but there aren't a lot of women there who interest me.)-(And, like the one fellow commented, it's kind of a place for sadness, and I need to put that behind. (I have spent enough nites crying in my beer, and it's time for new experiences.))
Part of why I go to band bars is that Erica seldom does. (We make each other tense, and I seem to get in the way of her having fun; so I go out of my way to avoid her.) (I love live music, so I would probably still be going to music bars if it weren't for my feelings for Erica.) (This is the first place I have lived where I didn't pick out a bar to go to before the music starts to play pool and bs with people. (Pool is one of the few social skills I have acquired, and, in the past, it has been how I met new people whenever I moved somewhere new.))-(Another social skill I have become good at, since my divorce, is dancing; but I don't seem to be doing much of that now either.)
I am still puzzling on how to word an introduction ad for the newspaper, so it will attract women who like pot and shrooms. (?)
One reason for holding off on another trip to Wallace is that, if I make it another six weeks, I would be able to celebrate one year of celibacy again.
(Noon) I am taping a couple more albums to send to Carrie. (I enjoy giving.)
Maybe by avoiding Erica so I don't get in the way of her fun, I am being immature; but I am just trying to be as good a friend to her as I can be. (I would be a better friend if I behaved differently, but I am doing the best I can, given who I am now.)
If this business idea of mine is to work, I am going to have to find a partner who is good at sales. (I have got the skills and drive to crank out the work, but selling just doesn't seem to fit who I am now.)
Oh yes, Josh says he is going to deck me if I don't find a girlfriend soon. (He had better hurry. (He has been getting out of shape, and with my Nautilus training I keep getting stronger. (Another six months to a year, and I would win that fight.)))