I think, at the beginning of a relationship, people need to accept that they are human and incapable of "sexual monogamy", and not include that in their contract with each other. (I think that would considerably reduce the "divorce" rate.) (I don't see any purpose in talking about affairs, unless that is something the couple gets into.)
Erica has expressed concern about all the time I am spending alone now. (If it bugged me that much, I would haul my ass out on the streets. (Now is a time for me to learn to be alone and become content within myself.) (Again, tis "right" for me now, and isn't something I would suggest as "right" for anyone else, or "right" for me in the future. (It fits me now, and is serving a useful function in my growth!)))
I ponder phrases used in romantic contexts because I think language has a major impact on how one thinks, and changes in my language will bring changes in how I perceive and live life. (e.g., where I once would say "woman" in a poem, I now use "women", as I think the next phase I need to go through requires collecting experiences with a variety of women, rather than finding one and settling right down. (Scrapping the concept of "sexual monogamy" requires changing the words and phrases I use in my writing and my thinking.))
I am still thinking about a move to find work; but, when it comes down to it, I would prefer to stay here. (I like it here, and I don't think I would be at all happy in the big cities.)
Erica and I have been debating whether this season or last season of "Dallas" was the dream. (If last season was the dream, then Pam is psychic, as the character this year that claims to be Jock appeared at the end of last season.)
I have doubled the weights on all the Nautilus exercises since I began. (Pretty neat.)
(7pm) One big advantage of working out is that it makes one’s body more fun to play with. (I have spent a lot of years building up my mind and playing with it, and now I am enjoying building up my body and playing with it.) (Be nice if it has the side effect of a longer and healthier life, but what is most relevant is that it enhances today.)
One advantage of the hermit's life is that it's simple and uncomplicated. (Tis an interesting experience, but it isn’t something I want to do long term. (Keep on exploring different roads, alleys, paths, and sometimes cutting a new trail.)) (The only problem with changing so much is I sometimes find it hard to imagine I was some of the people I have been; and, sometimes, I forget I have learned something already. (e.g., it occurred to me recently that I had learned a lot about fixing up houses in my past. (I was feeling I was totally incompetent at doing such things, but there was a time when I learned all that.)))
(10pm) I suppose one major reason for caring about whether or not women find me desirable is that it's a good indication as to how I am progressing in becoming a wholer human being. (I just need to forget about putting a deadline on that.)
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(1am) Quiet nite of tv and solitaire. (If someone just stayed home every nite and watched tv, they would get a very distorted image of the world.)-(And they aren’t going to know how to relate to other people.)
I am still unable to concentrate enough to read?