I fret a bit about why I am not going out, but I just don't have a craving to right now. (I make a lot of excuses, like being broke, but the long and the short of it is that I simply have no desire to be out on the street right now. (Tis a time for solitude and working through some things internally.))
(10pm) Quiet nite of tv.
12-5-86
(Midnite) I have had a couple calls on the car ad, but there doesn't seem to be too much interest.
(1am) One thing about my hermitage is that the person who starts living here in Missoula won't be the same person who moved here. (Maybe I am deluding myself, but I feel I have grown much.)
(3pm) Good workout.
(6pm) Nice walk in the snow.
(8pm) I took a nice long hot bath and put on clean clothes. (I am not up to going out, but it feels good to get cleaned up, and I deserve it.)
Erica has been bugging me about not going out and I have been coming up with a lot of excuses for staying at home; but, when it comes down to it, I am just not ready for it right now.
12-6-86
(1am) Tiredness.
(11am) Tis laundry day again.
Last nite I watched tv and played solitaire.
I didn't get much off of one x-top. (What I am looking for is a way I can get up at 6am on Friday, work all day, and then party from 6pm to 4 or 5am.) (Friday nite may be the best nite for a single to go out, and I need some way to manage it. (Without, I am tired by eleven and passed out before the fun even starts.)) (I have experimented with taking a nap after work and then going to the bar, but:
1. I often don't completely wake up again, and I am in a fog at the bar.
2. There are people who go out right after work and then go home early, and I would miss that group.)
I suppose I could beat an addiction to cocaine if I slipped that far into it. (The tricks are how to afford it and will my heart hold up to it.) (Another solution to that puzzle is to not use it, but keep it around for women who do like it.) (The riddle is still whether or not I can find more time with the women I enjoy being with, without having it around.) (Oh well, that is a long ways off and I need to figure other things out first.)