I wish I had a buck for every relationship that ended because someone failed at sexual monogamy, or because they decided it wasn't going to last forever. (What is important is whether or not they enjoy living together and are continuing to grow as individuals. (Accept the humanity of our mates and ourselves.))
(10pm) I know this hermit bit isn't a good idea for a long-term lifestyle, but I think I have needed this time to do some growing.
I find myself fretting about where to go next, but maybe I need to relax and just let happen what happens?
I don't think I am ready to jump all the way to a serious relationship yet. (I think I need to break down the process of coming to terms with intimacy and commitment into two stages. (Become comfortable with intimacy first and then work on developing commitments and building a long-term relationship.))
12-3-86
(Midnite) Quiet nite.
I wish I could get into reading, but I can't seem to focus on much of anything of late.
(1pm) Nice workout.
(6pm) Nice walk.
The more I think about it the more I think there might be money in setting up schools to teach people social skills.
12-4-86
(Midnite) Quiet nite of tv.
For the most part I am pretty content and happy right now. (I know this lifestyle isn't a lifetime goal, but it's neat learning to enjoy solitude.)
(Noon) The cards are running bad today.
I have decided that I have spent enough years trying to solve my sexual puzzle consciously. (Tis obviously not something I am going to be able to untangle that way.) (Turn it over to my unconscious mind and let it work on that one for awhile. (That seems to be the best way to solve a lot of problems.)) (Maybe the reason I am not able to focus on doing anything right now is that my unconscious mind is busy working on that problem?)
(6pm) Nice walk.
I am still off cigs, but I have sure been pigging out here lately.