Quotes:
George and Nena O'Neill, "Open Marriage" -
"The real task is to strip marriage of its antiquated ideals and romantic tinsel and
find ways to make it truly contemporary, in line with other changes that have taken place
in our society."
"... what we need to do is to get marriage into a more open context, one in which natural growth can take place."
"Open marriage means an honest and open relationship between two people, based on the equal freedom and identity of both partners."
(8pm) The rain department finally got it together and it's pouring. (I hope it lets up a little before it's time for my walk downtown.)
So far it has been a quiet nite of reading.
Notes from the ozone:
1. I am still somewhat torn about the time I have spent out and about with my women friends. (I have enjoyed myself and found a lot of fun; but, if I am using them to keep other women away maybe it wasn't completely a good idea? (Oh well, those were good times and I learned to enjoy rather than dread the company of women.))
2. I wonder if part of the reason that analyzing moments destroys them, is that I break eye contact while I am analyzing it? (I don't know why eye contact plays such an important role in sexual chemistry, but it sure seems too. (Maybe it's the children inside each of us checking the other out?))
(11pm) I have read enough for now.
Time to walk downtown.
6-29-86
(2am) I walked down to the Top Hat. (The walk, music, and girl watching were all good. (I couldn't get into dancing though. (I am still far too uptight to play.)))
The book "Open marriage" seems to be helping me, intellectually anyway, to define more clearly how and why my marriage didn't work out, and to see a bit more of what is wrong with my attitudes towards relationships. (Getting it accepted at the emotional level is going to take some time and practice.)
Looking back, I think I may well have used everything I have studied about sexual chemistry backwards. (If a book said to try A, I would do Z.)
Maybe, rather than collecting good sexual encounters to offset the bad one’s in the past, I have to work it through on my own?
I know, in time, I will need to start wandering some new roads and meeting new people. (Lately, my wandering has mostly been inwardly. (I have come across a few jewels, but they are worthless until I take them to be cut and polished by the realities of the streets. (e.g., I have read a lot about monogamy, but when you take that concept out on the streets it doesn't fit reality.) (I am going to have to get rid of some of my unrealistic expectations about life and relationships, if I am to be happy.))