Quotes:
M. Scott Peck, "The road less traveled" -
"... once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters."
"It is through the pain of confronting and resolving problems that we learn."
"In attempting to avoid the pain of responsibility, millions and even billions daily attempt to escape from freedom."
I don't often think about death. (I wonder if that is a bad sign? (Maybe if I did, now and then, I would be in a bigger hurry to make changes and get involved in living again?))
I wonder if part of my analyzing is simply trying to fit reality to faulty maps? (Maybe I need to throw away some of my maps and start over again, rather than trying to redraw the existing one’s?)
6-10-86
(Midnite) I am still too wound up to find sleep.
Although I am not a talker, I sure do say a lot with writing. (I seem to have a lot to say, as long as I have the safety of distance provided by writing. (Oh well, at least it's a start, and a way to practice.))
Richard reminds me of Dante, for some reason. (He is good people.)
There is a rap on one of Janis Joplin's songs, where she says if one finds love for one day; they shouldn't cry the other 364 days because it's gone. (Enjoy the moment.) (I do seem to have a problem with taking sex too seriously. (Which is probably a big part of why it has such a hard time finding my bed.))
(8am) Back to Carrie's comments on prostitution: (A good part of my problem is not knowing when to become sexual with someone. (And how it's approached.))-(I am totally lost.) (Tis hard to be spontaneous, when I don't know what to do or say. (That knowledge can only be found through experimentation and practice, so I have no one to blame except myself.))
(10am) Erica is also giving me shit about worrying too much. (There are a lot of problems that I need to deal with, and some time needs to be devoted to resolving them; but I do spend too much time just fretting.)-(I will have to try to catch myself, and ask myself if worrying about whatever it is, will lead to anything constructive, or is just moaning and feeling sorry for me. (The Chinese have a concept for dealing with problems. Take each problem you can do nothing about now, "put it in a box", put the "box" up on the "shelf"; and leave it there until you can do something about it.))
(Noon) Tis funny and sad, but both Erica and Gwynn say that after all the study and work, they are not sure they want to do what they trained to do. (That is a pretty common feeling, I think.)
(9pm) I went down to Flippers and had a brew with Erica after she got off work.
She says people think I act like she is my girlfriend. (I have had that problem with most of my women friends.)-(?)-(I don't know the answer. (All I know is that I enjoy the company of my women friends.))