(10pm) Quiet nite.
5-26-86
(3pm) Another productive day at work.
I suppose the best argument against going to Wallace now is that I need to spend the money on getting out and about.
I suppose I should be past my divorce by now, but maybe I am not. (In some ways (e.g., finances and health) I am doing better; but in some ways I was better off three years ago. (At least then I was going out, flirting, and asking women for dates)) (Maybe it doesn't have anything to do with divorce? (I didn't have much luck with women before I was married either. (Maybe I am just back to working through what I needed to work through before I got married? (My problems are probably rooted in the things that happened with my mom, and all that my ex did was reinforce that.)))) (I suppose another reason I stayed with my ex for so long was that I felt I needed to be whipped, and it allowed me to ignore my problems and withdraw from life.)-(I wasn't helping my ex. We just helped each other to avoid facing our individual problems.)-(I hope my ex has gained and grown as much from our divorce as I have.) (Maybe it has something to do with work? (The reason the financial aspects are improving is that I am working more and studying work related topics more; but it means spending more and more time being analytical and that is harder to shut it off now. (The more time I spend working on accounting, the less poetry that I write.)))
(10pm) Quiet nite.
5-27-86
(8am) Another beautiful morning.
(6pm) Twas a busy day at work.
Now it's laundry time once more.
I ran across an interesting tidbit awhile back, in my readings. (A psychologist studied how people walk. He found that men tend to plot out the shortest route, while women tend to choose a variety of routes and take little side trips along the way. (Maybe that is part of why I enjoy the company of women? (I find more new things following them around, than I do on my own or when I hang out with the guys.)))
Maybe I have to overcome my philosophy of letting women make the first moves and begin to be assertive? (When I am passive most women seem to ignore me, and those who do notice me label me as "too nice to f".)-(When I have tried being aggressive, I have been called names and slapped.)-(There must be some set of behaviors somewhere in between those extremes; where women will both like me and want to play with me.)
I think that one aspect of my current problem with meeting new people is that I have gotten lazy and out of practice. (During the last couple years I spent in Bozeman I mostly spent time with existing friends, and I haven't built any new friendships in years.)