Sometimes Carrie has complained about not getting into a long-term relationship and feels sad about not being in one now. I know I have had the same sadness, but I am beginning to wonder if, given my behavior, that is really what I want. (Maybe I have been getting what I want, at the unconscious level? (My behavior sure isn't designed around being open and ready for a long term relationship, and I think, down deep, I am not ready for one.)-(So stop being sad about not getting what I am not ready to get!))
The seminar I went to yesterday was on Personal Financial Planning. Part of the lecture was about brokers and salesmen who use the "Principle of Seduction" in marketing their products. (The "Principle of Seduction", according to the lecturer, is to tell the potential buyers what they want to hear.) (Per normal, my mind wandered off then to the sexual implications of that discussion. (From what I have been able to figure out, part of what men do to seduce women is to figure out what each woman wants to hear (e.g., "You are beautiful.")-(e.g., "I love you.")-(e.g., "I am rich."); and then telling her those lines? (I wonder if it also involves saying one believes in the same philosophies, politics, ..., as the woman, to convince her to let them into her bed?))) (I am looking for friends I can get along with. (Doesn't that mean saying what I think and feel, rather than what I think they want me to think and feel?)-(Maybe, in part, I am reacting to my ex? (In part, her jealousy was rooted in insecurity. (She needed constant reassurances about her desirability and constant confirmations of my love, in order to come even close to unhappiness.))-(Maybe I am just trying to avoid insecure women by not flattering women and being willing to say those things? (It makes me a very unromantic type fellow and it probably has a lot to do with why I sleep alone; but I can't seem to find the courage to try anything different.))))
One thing I like about my home is that it reminds me of friends and that I am loved. (e.g., the pictures Erica have given me.)-(e.g., the couch that Billie gave me.)
(Noon) Back to the "Principle of seduction": A lot of guys listen to women and then modify their philosophy, politics, behavior, etc, to fit the woman they are with, in order to improve their odds of getting their dicks wet. (Am I wrong to want to be myself, and find people who I fit in with? (People tell me to go out and play some role, but I keep feeling I need to find friends, and that to do that I need to find people who like and accept me as I am.) (?)
There really aren't too many options sexually. One can either choose celibacy, monogamy, or polygamy. (There are variations of each, but those are the fundamental choices.) (Celibacy sucks and I am not ready for monogamy, so I have to find some way to break through to polygamy.)
I wonder if not being big on telling women that they are beautiful, or that I love them, or …, relates back to my ex? (Her jealousy seemed to be rooted in insecurity and dependence, and she needed constant reassurance as to her beauty and my love for her. (I don't need another relationship that is based on dependence.)-(I want to eventually work out a relationship based on mutuality. (Back to the concept of me, her and we))-(Am I deceiving myself again, in thinking that the women I am not meeting because I am not flattering them are likely to be dependent, and not who I am looking for anyway? (It seems to work, in that all of my women friends are independent and self-confident; but, then again, none of those relationships grew beyond friendship.)))
Don't women use the "Principle of Seduction" in chasing men too?