(9am) I am still torn about spending my money at the Top Hat. (Live music is one of my favorite parts of life, but it gets in the way of meeting people. (e.g., my voice is soft, and my hearing isn't too good; so a conversation while the band is playing is almost impossible.)) (Tis a joy, but I end up spending most of my party budget where it's least effective for meeting people. (Am I doing what I enjoy, or am I running away again?))
I have been contemplating buying a computer, but where the money would come from is a mystery.
(9pm) I stopped in Flippers and bs'd with Erica, and met her friend Dell. (He bartends at Corky's.) (He says that fat women are good lovers. (One problem with so few lovers is I have little to base my opinions on. (Maybe my ex was an exception rather than the rule, in that area.)) (Maybe he meant that, tired and drunk, a quickie with a fat woman is about the same as one with a thin woman?)-(I am still thinking in terms of long term relationships, and that is a lot different than one nite stands.)-(Oh well, I think sex is still years away from returning to my life, so forget about it. (Just build friendships and keep working on putting the pieces of my life back together.)))
Erica says she figures that this is the last summer she will be able to play, and that she will be eight to fiving it in the future; so she is going to take off in July with Miranda for a trip to Hawaii. (Good for them!) (Maybe someday I will be able to afford a holiday?)
(10pm) My excitement for tonite was going downtown to let the cops into the office. (I wish that alarm system would quit triggering itself.)
If cocaine effects the libido anything like speed does, it's best I continue to avoid it. (On speed I get really horny, and with no one to scratch the itch, it's just too frustrating.)
One drawback to biking is getting grease on my pants. (I will have to see if I can find out the best way to clean them.)
5-13-86
(10am) I just stepped out on the back porch of the office building to have a cig and ran into three guys from the carnival that is being set up today. (They were passing a bowl. (Tis a pretty secluded spot and they figured it was a relatively safe spot to get hi. (Unfortunately the cops are using the office next door, and the cars they were leaning against belonged to the police. (Oops.))-(I told them the story, and they took off.)) (I met a woman when I lived in Billings, who had traveled with the carnival for six years. (Interesting woman, and good people!))
Oh yes, Erica is sharing my letters with a few people, and is getting pretty demanding about getting the next episode. (It will be interesting to see what a wider readership is like.) (She says she is going to experiment with using a tape recorder, instead of writing me letters. (That will be interesting too.))