After dinner, I went over to Leo and Samantha's, bs'd with them, played cribbage, and got hi. (Last nite Samantha was telling me she was going to dump Leo, move to Missoula, and rent my extra room; but they appeared to be pretty happy and domestic together tonite.) (The way she goes back and forth in her feelings for Leo reminds me a bit of Erica and Henry. (They both talk a lot about moving out, but never seem to actually do it for long, if at all.)) (Samantha says she has renewed her affair with one of her old beaus. (She says he is a lousy lay; but he is romantic and will eat her pussy. (Those are two of her big complaints about Leo.))) (I hope she doesn't move to Missoula. (As often as she is unemployed, it could turn into another of those roommate deals where I lose money.))
Then I went to the Scoop. (I ran into Biker Jack there, and we had a nice visit. (He is still talking about moving away. (I have known him for years, and he is always complained about things here and talked about leaving.)))-(He is good people.)
I sure have been collecting a lot of hugs since I got here. (Maybe it's a weakness, but I do love hugs.)-(Along with a few other contact sports.)
I definitely caught a buzz tonite. (One advantage of getting drunk is that I am too far gone to be horny, and I get a nite off from visiting with Rosie.)-(The only problem with it is that I will pay for it in the morning.)
While Missoula has no snow and green leaves are starting to show up, Bozeman is semi-winter still.
Bozeman sure isn't the same without Carrie.
I got tired of hanging out with them, and walked over to the Paw for a bit. (There wasn't anyone there who I knew.)
Saturday was the fourth anniversary of leaving my ex, but I still haven't moved on to other loves. (That isn’t good, but I am lost about how to change this pattern.)
Note from the ozone: Isn’t sex the ritual that forms the strongest bonds between people? Maybe a lot of guys put down prostitutes as a way to avoid forming a bond with them? (I don't put them down and I can sense a bond that exists with them.)-(The catch 22 of Wallace, for me, is that I wouldn't care about those women so much, if I hadn't used them; but I feel guilty about having used them.) (Interesting puzzle.)
One question I need to come to terms with is whether it's better to take whatever comes along and enjoy the moment, or continue alone and cut off from joy, waiting for someone who will be around for awhile. (There have been some moments in the last four years that could have been, but I shut off the potential because of my romanticism.)