Last nite, while I was rushing, I decided to stay here. (And I think I let go of Erica a little more.) (Sometimes the different perspectives given by different drugs, are beneficial in seeing things differently and more clearly.) (Carrie thinks that chasing Erica has been another example of my masochism. (Maybe, but it has also brought me much good.))
(5pm) The estimate on fixing my car comes to $1,300. (How f'ing depressing.)
(11pm) I took myself to the Paw and cheered myself up with some girl watching.
9-13-85
(6pm) A friend of mine showed my book "Feelings" to a professor at the University. (He says my poetry has no commercial value. (Oh well, it still has value to me.)) (It does however provide some insight into how I need to restructure my time. (I am going to have to spend more hours with accounting, so I can clean up my debts and be able to start doing things again. (Writing will have to be relegated to the back burner.)))
I decided to take another writer's holiday from letters to Erica. (Give myself some time to adjust my feelings a bit.)
9-14-85
(8am) Last nite I caught a ride down to the Filler with Carrie and Hunter. (I was in a terrible mood, so I walked home early.)
Now I am on a binge. (And I have unplugged the phone. (I am in no mood to talk to anyone.)) (What that professor said puts a hole in my goals and dreams about publishing, and now I am giving them a suitable burial.)
(5pm) Well, laundry is out of the way for another week.
I plugged the phone back in and Samantha called. (We had a nice visit.)
Hunter called and I went over to Carrie's and bs'd with them.
(8pm) Maybe, one of these nites, I should start trying to get laid again? (How is that done though?)
9-15-85
(Midnite) I took myself to see "Pee Wee's big adventure" tonite. (I needed a good laugh.)
Then I went bar hopping for awhile, but I didn't see much of anyone I know.
Maybe I should reconsider the hooker idea?
I did get an idea from the book on poetry that professor loaned me. (I don't follow the normal structures of poetry and I deal with a lot of raw emotions. (That sets me outside the normal concepts of poetry.)) (Of the suggestions for poets that the book made, the one that doesn't fit what I am already doing is that I seldom read other poets. (What I do do is listen to a lot of music. (I suppose what I am writing comes closer to being song lyrics than poems.)))