Thinking about what Jess Lair and
Herb Goldberg's books had to say, I wonder if the
traditional concept of dating is even something I want to consider? (Tis so loaded with
the traditional values, rituals and conditioning that it would seem hard to build an open
relationship within it.) (But, if not, what is the answer?) (Just keep building
friendships and see what happens.)
5-11-85
(9am) I shipped out seven more copies of my manuscript to publishers.
Last nite was fun.
Samantha stopped by to visit. (She says that job out at Gateway didn't work out.)
Leo's band was playing down at the Molly, so we walked down there and had a few brews. (The music was good, but the bar was dead.)
We walked over to the Hauf to see if anything was happening there. (I ran into a fellow I work with there. (We bs'd and he bought me a couple brews.)) (Then I went over and sat with Zoe and the bunch of people she was with. (What a crew.)) (That reminded me I should still be pissed at Hunter for not telling me how to get to her house for her party. (Oh well, she is a cutie and a lot of fun, but she is hung up on chasing money and success, so I wouldn't fit into her life too well. (And I suppose she is way to young for me.)))
I went over to the Scoop, but that was dead too.
Then on to the Paw where I ran into a bunch of people I know and I bs'd with all of them. (Nice.)
There is one positive aspect of this garnishment. (I thought I still owed them $1,800, but it’s down under $900.)
I wish I wasn't such a lightweight. (By the time parties end I am too far gone to do anything but crash.) (Oh well, I don't have the money to spend on partying, that it would take to build up my endurance again.)-(And, that takes its toll on a person physically and psychologically.)
Last nite I worked on smiling more. (It does seem to make a difference when I try to hold onto a positive attitude.)
(Noon) Carrie and Hunter dropped by and visited with me for a bit. (I do enjoy company.)
Quotes:
William James-"... our normal waking
consciousness ... is but one special type of consciousness, whilst all about it, parted
from it by the filmiest of screens, there lie potential forms of consciousness entirely
different."
Colin Wilson-"Evolution is simply the capacity to
register meanings that are already there."
"If man is really to evolve, then he must develop depth, and power over his own depths."
5-12-85
(Noon) Carrie and Hunter cruised through and said hi.