Carrie suggested I write a couple master poems that express all the feelings that I deal with. (I will have to ponder that one for awhile.)
I also ran into Dante down at the Filler and bs'd a bunch with him. (He is good people.)
And, I ran into a bunch of women down there, who I haven't seen in quite awhile. (Twas nice visiting with them.)
(10am) I think I managed to smile and open my body language up a little bit last nite. (A few women I didn't know even tried to start conversations with me; but I got tongue-tied and couldn't think of anything to say. (Patience.)-(One of these nites, I will figure it out.))
Samantha called. (She is doing well.)
(Noon) Samantha stopped by and visited. (There is a kegger up the canyon today, but neither of us have enough money for gas. (Oh well, do some reading.))
One thing both Jess Lair and
D.H. Lawrence point out is how there is an ebb and
flow with relationships. (People move together and then back apart.) (Tis impossible to be
with someone 100%, all the time.) (Each of our lives is so complex it wouldn't be good to
live in a world of only two.) (There are times for closeness, times for moving outward,
and times for moving inward.)
Quotes:
D.H. Lawrence-"There was that in him which shrank
from yielding to her, resisted the relaxing towards her, opposed the mingling with her,
even whilst he most desired it. He was afraid, he wanted to save himself. There were a few
moments of stillness. He was afraid, he wanted to save himself. There were a few moments
of stillness. Then gradually, the tension, the withholding relaxed in him, and he began to
flow towards her. She was beyond him, the unattainable. But he let go his hold on himself,
he relinquished himself, and knew the subterranean force of his desire to come to her, to
be with her, to mingle with her, losing himself to find her, to find himself in her."
(8pm) Saturday nite and a full moon. (Sure would be nice to have enough money to go out and howl tonite.)
(9pm) Why do women do jerks and then bitch about them? (If they are going to reward that behavior, why do they turn around and condemn it?)
The sunset and the full moon are beautiful tonite! (Fortunately, some of life’s greatest joys are free!)
5-5-85
(1pm) Laundry is done for another week and I have some soup on the stove cooking.
From what Hunter says I missed another good party last nite. (I sure seem to do that a lot.)-(Oh well, my turn will come around again.)
(4pm) Samantha stopped by and said hi.