(1pm) My dad sent $200. (I bought sweaters and socks, stocked shelves, and picked up some tapes.)
(5pm) All I am good for is work and helping others. (Tis my greatest pleasure and most of my therapy now.) (For some reason work is where I have the least anxiety attacks, and it’s the only social situation where I have some control left.) (Tis also a way to repay people for diminishing their lives. (I try to draw on my strengths to give to others, to help make up for the times I am weak and dependent.))
(9pm) I am pondering on rearranging the living room again. (I need to clean and that requires moving everything. (If I am going to move it anyway, I might as well try another combination and see if it makes my prison cell any nicer.))
(11pm) Time for dreamland!
10-11-89
(5pm) I feel terrible!
(7pm) I better sleep!
10-12-89
(6am) I feel better!
(7am) I wonder what was wrong with me yesterday? (I was dizzy and weak, and couldn’t stand up for long.) (Oh well, it has passed for now.)
Carly dropped off some tapes last nite that she wants copied.
Once again Miranda and Joey, and Charlotte and Jim have patched things up.
This morning I caught up on last nite’s tv shows, and did last nite’s chores.
I wasn’t able to eat last nite, but that is probably good for my diet.
Well, I better get ready for work.
10-12-89
(5pm) Busy day!
Erica dropped off some cookbooks. (I know I should prepare a better menu, but I can’t seem to get into it.)
D O isn’t around. (I wonder how she got out?)
(9pm) I had better sleep.