8-13-89
(Noon) I caught up on my movie watching.
(3pm) Nice walk!
I sent out samples to six more publishers. (Three of the last five I sent out came back as undeliverable, so I still have some bad addresses.)
Being considered desirable by another does do wonders for a person’s ego, but the first step has to be made within. (The catch 22 of desirability. (People are rarely considered desirable by others unless they feel desirable. (Tis conceivable to find predators and people who feel sorry for you, but those options rarely lead to loving relationships based upon mutuality.)))
(4pm) I suppose my self-doubt is a defense mechanism. (I don’t have to face my fear of sex if I don’t feel desirable, because it’s rarely offered when I don’t feel desirable.) (If that is valid, the first step to feeling desirable is to overcome the fear.)
(8pm) Erica stopped by for a game of Yahtzee. (Neat!)
(10pm) Time to catch some z’s!
8-14-89
(5pm) Busy day!
Linda called and I gave her information about a job opening at the City. (I hope she gets it!)
(8pm) Nice workout!
Carrie’s birthday is coming up in a few days. (I am thinking of buying a card and having Erica mail it.)
(9pm) I am out of money and just about out of cigs, so I will try quitting again. (I can’t afford them financially or physically, but I can’t seem to leave them behind.)
I have lost seven pounds so far. (Good for me!)
Erica says Ross is dating already. (Good for him!)
Maybe it’s my imagination, but my mood seems to have improved some since I started taking vitamin B pills.
8-15-89
(8am) I have a dentist appointment now. (Yech!)
(5pm) Busy day!
I have a couple cavities, so I will have to go back to the dentist next week. (Double yech!)