Erica is still getting mad at me for not being able to initiate social interaction. (I am not an easy person to be friends with!)
I will have to work some more overtime the next few weeks. (Things are getting hectic at work!)
The politics is intensifying as the election approaches. (Interesting!)
Tis hard for me to believe but Erica suggested that maybe Lauren was interested, but the fact that I didn’t call her, I didn’t stop by without an invitation, or talk unless she talk to me, caused her to give up. (Maybe there are women who have been interested in me and I just didn’t see it and blew the moment?)-(Being dense socially and inept at sexual games and seduction leads to sleeping alone most of the time.) (Also, I would need to find some optimism to find someone. (Assuming no one is interested pretty much insures that no one will be.))
(10pm) Time for dreamland!
7-17-89
(7am) Monday again. (Yech!)
Erica has been getting more annoyed at me for being dependent. (I try to do things for her to make up for that, but I guess I am not doing enough.)
(5pm) Busy day!
(8pm) Nice workout! (I actually had a short conversation with a woman in the sauna. (Amazing!))
(9pm) Going to the break room at work reinforces my opinion that I need money before I will be able to find a girlfriend. (There are a lot of single women at work, and they all say they are looking for men with money. (I can’t blame them! (Poverty isn’t much fun!))) (They like going places and doing things, none of them makes much money, and most have kids. (They really need to find someone with money who can help them out financially, and who can take them to nice places and do fun things with them.)) (Money is a major cause of divorce, and it is a major factor in finding a new relationship. (Linda has complained a lot over the years about Paul not making much money!))
It sounds like the biggest reason Linda hasn’t left Paul is that she is afraid to be alone. (Staying in a relationship that isn’t working is far worse than being alone!) (I got caught in that fear with my ex, and that was part of why I stayed so long. (A related part was that I didn't want to give up sex.)) (It has been good for me to learn to enjoy being alone, become happier with myself and become content with celibacy. (I needed to do that before forming another relationship, so that I don’t enter into another relationship to escape loneliness and celibacy.))
(11pm) Tiredness!