(8pm) I am getting sleepy already. (I suppose I could eat some x-tops, but what is the point of staying up? (A few years down the road the finances will be better and I will go out, but for now there isn’t much point for staying up late.)) (There are times for everything and now is my time to be alone. (Someday will be different!))
My craving for cigs was stronger today.
(9pm) Time for bed!
1-8-89
(7am) I slept for ten hours. (I would have slept longer, but D O woke me up.)
(9am) I decided to get a subscription to "Playboy". (Hopefully it will help with the desensitization.)
Quotes:
"Playboy" – "While acknowledging that it may seem strange to compare romantic feelings to drug-induced states, Liebowitz points out that drugs work not by creating new chemical reactions in our bodies, but by speeding up or slowing down existing processes. Tis interesting o note that he makes no distinction between the neurochemistry of men and of women. Despite the differences in our anatomical designs, our chemical wiring seems to have the same scheme."
(3pm) Nice walk!
(4pm) Erica stopped in to say hi. (Neat!)
I got so bored I broke down and watched some football. (I suppose it’s odd for a guy not to watch sports and even odder for an ex-sports writer, but I just can’t get into it. (I seem to have shut off a lot of things I used to enjoy. (Why do I keep punishing myself?)))
(8pm) Quiet nite so far. (Nice!)
I get dizzy sometimes after soak and sweat time. (I am guessing it means I have pushed too hard.) (Wednesday nite I wasn’t able to move for five minutes afterwards.)
I haven’t had bed spins or puked up from over consumption for quite awhile. (I seem to be learning my limits and I am staying away from the edge.) (I have been there a lot of times though! (Too many nites have been spent sleeping in my own puke! (I am lucky I didn’t die!)))
(9pm) Time for sleep!