I have a doctor’s appointment Wednesday and the dentist on Thursday. (Hopefully quitting cigs has cleared up my blood problem!)
(7am) Nice workout!
(5pm) Boring day! (Working in the computer room sure is noisy!)
(10pm) Quiet nite. (Nice!)
10-18-88
(7am) The newspaper hasn’t shown up yet. (Annoying!)
Erica says she isn’t into going out to meet people and find a new beau. (That is probably for the best, for now.)-(Now is the time to heal and put the pieces back together.) (It takes most people six months to three years to work through all that and start over again.) (Not trying after over six years is abnormal and not healthy!)
(6pm) Boring day again.
My gum chewing seems to be tapering off.
The craving for cigs is still diminishing a little more each day.
Miranda stopped by today and dropped off a letter from her lawyer friend who was looking into my divorce situation.
(8pm) Erica stopped by to visit for awhile. (Hopefully things will look up for her soon!)
All that is important is the message the affairs communicated. (There was a problem with the relationship and she wasn’t happy for some reason.) (Only she can figure out the why.) (The affair that ended my marriage was messy! (Twas destined to by messy and short lived, and the obvious message was that I needed to get out of my marriage. (Not only was there no other way for that affair to end, but I think my unconscious mind set it up to get me out.)))-(The message there was that I had to get out. (Twas really stupid and painful, but I hadn’t been able to get out any other way.))-(The lesson was that I have to find someone I can communicate with. (Holding stuff in and trying to ignore the problems, just to avoid fights wasn’t the way to go.))
She has been telling Henry for years that she wasn’t happy and wanted something different, so this shouldn’t have been a big surprise for him. (I had left my ex twice before I finally stayed gone. Each time she begged me to come back and promised to change, and to try therapy and marriage counseling. Each time it was better for a few days and then it would become even worse than before. (I wish I had had the guts to just say I was unhappy instead of sliding back into the everydayness of being whipped and living in hell! (Oh well, it was messy and painful, but I finally did manage to get myself out of that relationship!)-(It would have been better to have just walked away, but at least I did finally get out!)))-(Despite having left her before and telling her I was unhappy, my ex was still surprised when I finally did leave and stay gone, and she got very hostile.)-(Maybe the reason she was surprised was that she never listened to me?)