(11pm) Quiet nite. (Nice!)
I thought about walking downtown, but I decided to save my money for next weekend. (The Hat is supposed to be reopened then.)
Also, I am pooped!
3-27-88
(9am) I must have been tired because I slept ten hours. (I feel much better!)
(11am) Sharon left me a stop smoking tape, so I have been listening to that. (One side is for self-hypnosis and the other side is music with a subliminal message.)
I still worry about what will happen when I quit. (Cigs are primarily, for me, a defense mechanism and a replacement for physical intimacy.)-(When I quit for two months about a year ago, my unconscious chose overdoing walking and nautilus as a replacement. (Gwynn started working out when she quit, so maybe she did the same thing? (Maybe using exercise addictively is her substitute for cigs?))-(The smell of sweat was at least as unpleasant as the smell of cigs.)-(The drugs released during exercise probably play some part in that substitution.)-(Exercise also provides physical stimulation.) (Tis an interesting puzzle!)
Another interesting puzzle is when to work out. (Mornings worked ok except I got into a pattern of waking up early and going to bed early. (That wasn’t a real sociable schedule.)) (So far I haven’t made it after work though. (I am pretty drained by then!))
I suppose I need to be patient with my phobias. (Shift the focus from how much I have left to do, to how far I have come.) (Work is giving me a lot of practice. (I still don’t talk much there, but it’s more than I was.)) (School provides a little and so does the Club.)
(2pm) KU won. (Yeah!)
I did what I could on the tax returns that are in my to do pile. (I will have to swing by the IRS and get some more forms.)
Sharon is supposed to stop by to get her tax return, so maybe I will get laid today.
(7pm) I fried a chicken for Monday and Wednesday and cooked hamburgers for tonite.
Sharon hasn’t showed. (Another day of hanging around waiting on a woman. (Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers.))
Someday I have to do something more with my weekends.
D O has been mellow today.
I didn’t make it to the Club, didn’t clean, didn’t write much, or …. (Such laziness!)
Another thing Beth said was to not worry about whether women like me. (Maybe, but I do enjoy my women friends a lot!)-(I enjoy the company of women and I am content with being friends.) (She does seem to be right though. (The jerks do much better with women than I do!)