One reason I avoided sex with Nikki is that I have hurt her in the past and now I think it’s best to keep it platonic. (Maybe another reason I avoid bed with her is that she has even less endurance than Sharon does? (15 to 30 minutes and she is content.) (That gets frustrating!)-(I suppose that is another weakness I will have to over come. (Learn to fully accept that I have to take care of my own needs and that a woman never will.)))
(3pm) The grocery store was expensive again.
(4pm) Nice walk! (That was the first time I have been up through Greenough Park since I started working.)
Sears called to tell me, due to a mistake, I have a couple more months left on the vcr’s service agreement. (Time to get the rewind function fixed.) (Neat!)
(8pm) I caught up on the r-rated movies I taped this week. (Pleasant!)
(9pm) I have $85 left over for a play budget this payday, but I can’t get up for going out tonite.
(10pm) Quite nite. (Nice!)
2-21-88
(8am) I managed to sleep in. (Nice!) (I was exhausted last nite!)-(I think, to get into going out two nites a week, I will have to start taking long naps on Saturday afternoons.)
(10am) I had a meeting Friday with Logan. (He says residential real estate occupancy rates are dropping off and landlords are responding by cutting way back on maintenance.)
Another exception to Erica’s comment about people liking me "100%" is playtime. (Even the people I am close to seldom want me around then. (I get in the way of their fun and I am not much good at that part of life. There are lots of others who are fun and better to play with.)) (Until I untangle that puzzle, I will only be someone people want around for work and quiet moments.)-(Maybe Sharon using me for orgasms is a sign that I am improving in that area? (Maybe not though?)-(That isn’t a very social activity, as there is just one other person.))
For awhile Erica was telling me to avoid Ross and Carly. Now she is telling me to hang out with them. (I wonder why she changed her mind?) (I am not much fun to be around and I haven’t been very friendly to them.) (I don’t get the impression that they are particularly interested in being friends with me.)
(Noon) Well, I wrote to Samantha, my sister and my dad. (I couldn’t think of much to say, but at least I touched base with them again.)
(6pm) Quiet afternoon of reading. (Nice!)
(10pm) Quiet nite. (Nice!)
Tomorrow I better get up and make it to the Club. (I have been too lazy here lately!)