(8am) The person from Gallatin County is new there, so it wasn’t someone I know.
I noticed the other day that they are doing a lot of work on the Top Hat. (It will be nice to see what kind of crowd they get.) (Luke’s is an older crowd than the Down Under, but there is usually no place to sit and that annoys me. (Or, maybe, I am just having more intense anxiety attacks as a result of being around older women?)) (Maybe the Hat will have an older crowd and a place to sit, and I will be able to cope with being there.)
I haven’t met anyone at the seminar yet. (Shyness sure shows up a lot in my life! (I probably should have been meeting people, collecting information and building contacts; but I can’t open up.)) (I hope that someday I will be able to break through this block and become a social creature! (I will remain a failure at everything until I do.)-(I am better than I once was, but I have a long ways to go still.))
(1pm) I went to lunch with some people from the seminar. (That is a positive sign for me.)
(8pm) The drive back was nice!
D O is happy to see me! (Over time we are getting used to each other.)
Leap year is a nice concept for shy guys, but so far no aggressive women have shown up besides Sharon.
I am calmer than I once was in social settings, but I have a long ways to go to beat the anxiety attacks.
Erica commented that everyone likes me 100%. (Nobody I let close to me enjoys me 100%. (e.g., both Carrie and Hunter are pretty pissed at me right now.)) (But most people mostly like me most of the time.) (The problem is I rarely let anyone close. (I come off as conceited and aloof, or shy and boring, or …, and few people break through.))-(Until I break down the phobias enough to let people close, I will have few friends.)
Another thing to work on is getting back into my exercise routine.
(9pm) Erica left me another "Playboy" to check out. (Yum!)
D O is bothering me a lot more than normal tonite. (Tis sweet and annoying.)
(10pm) Quiet nite. (Nice!)
2-19-88
(5am) TGIF!
TGI payday!
I slept much better. (I love my bed!)
(5pm) Hectic day! (Nice!)