11-27-87
(7am) I found out Carly's birthday is 12/6, so she is a Sagittarius. (According to my astrology book that is the fieriest of the fire signs and they tend to fuck around more than any other sign. (It says they are super resistant to any form of commitment and run anytime anyone tries to tie them down.)) (I don't think we would get along, long term, but if she offered I would do her. (Like Erica says, I have to start taking it when it comes around.))-(I won't make the first move though. (The anxiety attacks still make that hopeless.))
I got lots of little touches from Carly yesterday. (Human contact is wonderful!)
(3pm) Nice workout!
(8pm) I pigged out on pie and ice cream again. (Delish!)
Maybe Carly is flirting, but I get the impression she is a tease and it's all meaningless.
(9pm) Erica stopped by for a visit. (Nice!)
Tis weird how sometimes I can't think of anything to say and other times I can't shut up.
My favorite pen broke. (Sadness!) (Maybe I can fix it?) (I suppose I should start using the computer, but I can't seem to break the habit of doing the first draft of everything with pen and paper.)
(11pm) Quiet nite. (Nice!)
11-28-87
(8am) One thing I noticed was that when I talked about getting out, Carly and Gwynn assumed I meant to find a girlfriend, and said that they wished they had the time and energy to look for new beaus. (What I meant is I need to build a network of friends who don’t mind that I live in poverty, who will stop by and visit, and who will go places with me. (A girlfriend is a long ways off, at best.)) (Since that is why they go out, maybe they misinterpreted what I said because they were listening to themselves instead of to me?)
(10am) Erica is mad at me for spending the money she loaned me on ice cream and cigs instead of going to the bars to celebrate. (I seem to have a knack for saying and doing the wrong things!)
(11am) Nice massage!
Carly says Ross sometimes goes to church looking for women. (I am trying to find people my everyday self can get along with and he doesn't get along well with bible thumpers.)
Is it even an intelligent choice to go out for the sole purpose of finding a mate? (Magic comes in its own times and ways, and we can't make it happen. All we can do is open the door, so it can come in, if it does decide to visit.)
(Noon) I watched "True Stories" this morning. (Strange movie, but I enjoyed it!)