Let’s see.
I spent the summer of '80 on the road in Billings and Helena, and I did a lot of partying then. I tried leaving my ex once that summer, but she talked me into another chance. (I had a lot of fun that summer. (I came closer to acting single then, than any time since. (Mostly I just went to hookers then, but I did have that little fling with Nikki.)) (I had quit drinking and pot for a long time, before then; but started both again that summer. (And, since, if it was around, she would do it; my ex was back into drugs again too.))
My business partner got into money trouble in '80 and we had to sell the business to cover his debts. (He had gotten caught up in greed and the commodity markets, while I was out on the road working. He started stealing money from the pension plans he managed, because he was sure he had the markets figured out and could recover all his past losses. Well, he didn't have it figured out, and lost their money too; so we sold the business to pay them back. (I learned a lesson about greed from that. (He had been trading for awhile, before this time, and had lost a lot of money. I bailed him out and he promised not to do it again. Then I went out on the road for six months, and when I got back everything was gone. (Actually, I had had some clue, and that is part of why I partied so much during that road trip.)))-(I had been curious about his interest in the commodity markets, and I studied them intensely from the fall of '79 to about Feb. '80 and learned a lot about them. (Those studies also took me into studying all the cycles in life. (Fascinating.) (That is one area I think I will go back to, after I figure out my social and sexual puzzles. (One way my sexual aspect isn't repressed is that he demands most of my energy be applied to solving his problem.)))))
Okay, so I am unemployed in Dec. '80, and in shock over losing my business; but, since I was giving the marriage one more try, I wasn't totally bleak. (My ex had always said her jealousy was tied into me having been gone so much, and unemployment gave me a chance to test that out. (We fucked a lot then!) The result was no change. (She had jealous rages just as often when I was home all the time.)) (For three months, we went to town once a month for groceries, and once a week for mail, and saw no one but the kids.) (Maybe there are emotional cycles? (There didn't seem to be any real sense to when her rages began, and it was often impossible for me to see what had triggered one. (I hope that some day she learns to stop reacting when the waves are crashing down on her. (I would like to hear she has found some happiness, but it won't happen until she stops reacting to her emotions!))))
In March '81, she was getting panicked about money, and decided I should take a job in Oklahoma, that one of my uncles had offered me. (She raged for a couple of weeks until I took it, raged all through packing up and moving there, and then raged until I turned us around and moved right back to Montana. (What a nitemare! (3,000 miles in eight days, with the largest U Haul they have towing one car, a pickup towing a second car, one horse, five cats, three dogs, fish, plants, turtle, two kids, and a raging bitch.)))
Finally, in July '81, I got a job in Bozeman with an oil company, and got back to work. (On some level, by then, I had given up all hope of the marriage working, knew I had to get out, and was just trying to wait until the finances were better so I could do it. (e.g., I had polled the women I knew in Billings just before I left there, and they said the biggest reason I was undesirable was that I weighed 315, and I started losing weight then. (My unconscious mind replaced the fat with other obnoxious behaviors though, which is why losing weight didn't change anything. (e.g., when I was fat, I was more friendly and social.)-(e.g., now, the more attractive I become, the less friendly and social I become.))))