I haven't talked to the shrink about drugs and I don't think I will. (Given the current definitions of substance addiction, I already know I would be labeled as an addict. (I think they are over reacting, and that their definitions are too narrow.)) (I would say that I am something of a pot addict, and I will need to start cutting back on that soon. (It seems to help me with the introspection and writing; but it doesn't fit in with doing accounting. (When I get a job I will cut it back to nites and weekends at least.))) (The things that I look at as signs of addiction are things that I saw in my ex (and others since, who weren't able to handle drugs):
1. When my ex started into anything, if there was enough, she would continue on to the edge of consciousness, at least. (If someone usually can't stop themselves, once they start, they need to start wondering.)
2. When we smoked pot, and ran out, my ex immediately freaked out and was the bitch until I got out and found her some more. (I survive okay, when I run out now, and I am not frantic about it, which reassures me.)
3. My ex would have radical personality changes. (She always did; but when she was fucked up, she flipped to the bitch more easily, the rages were far more intense then, and it required more time and energy to calm her again. (That is the aspect of addicts, which most often seems to destroy their relationships. (In men, that is the time when they become violent and beat their wives and children. (That was the times when my ex's anger would become physically violent.))-(Tis also the most frequent reason they land in jail. (e.g., my ex worked through her anger towards me after the divorce with drugs. It worked, I guess; but she did some really stupid and suicidal things then, and was lucky she didn't kill herself. (e.g., all the times she drove drunk and wrecked the truck and car she got out of the divorce, destroying both vehicles, and brought her a couple Dui’s.))))) (One aspect of what drugs do to us is to increase and change our perception of reality. That is really neat when it's positive emotions and feelings (e.g., the sensuality I experience with shrooms.); but there are always some negative emotions and feelings which are effected too, and experiencing them at intensified levels has fucked up a lot of people. (e.g., being hit by a wave of anger and reacting before one calms themselves is one of the biggest problems I have seen people have.))
4. Regular blackouts.)
(I wonder sometimes about that definition, because it allows me to continue my lifestyle. (Quitting drugs would require some radical changes in my lifestyle! (e.g., according to Samantha, part of the problem Jake and Annie have been having with quitting is that the couple they spent most of their time with and partied with regularly, won't talk to them now.)))
(8pm) One way I have noticed that I am better in bars now is that, when I am hit by an emotional storm, I handle them better and they don't last as long. (e.g., during my nite out in Sept., I got hit by a wave of depression, which, in the past, would have lasted all nite, at least; but it passed in less than an hour. (Neat.))
(9pm) A lot of people pass through some wild times when they are newly divorced. (I don't think a person's drug habits in the first year of two after a divorce are something to worry too much about. (If it continues on into the years afterwards, and it repeatedly screws up relationships; it’s something to be concerned about, and one should consider changing. (e.g., during the first couple of years after my divorce, I overdid it all, but that time passed.)))
I do think people should accept the fact that drugs are a poison, they sap the body's resources and energy; and it's important to compensate for that. (e.g., taking high doses of vitamins, to replenish those resources.)