Sometimes I worry that I am missing a big opportunity now. (During my '82-83 unemployment I lived in bars and that was how I became a part of that town and met lots of people. (I moved there in '79, but until my divorce I met almost no one and the few I did meet I didn't get to know well because I wasn't allowed any social life or friends. (When I got divorced, I knew about the same number of people there as I know here now.)) (That unemployment was a great way to meet lots of people in a fairly short period of time.)) (I have worked through a lot that I needed to work on during this unemployment. (I have improved my work skills considerably.) (I got over 1,000 pages of my writing loaded into the computer and edited. (I have made a lot of progress on "Outlaws and Poets"!)) (I think it has been the best use of this period in my life! (The past year has been full of worthwhile experiences and I have no regrets!) (I know there are other worthwhile experiences to collect in life; but, at this point in my life, I think it has been about the perfect choice! (All along the way, my gut feeling has been that I am making the right choices.)) (If I find work here I believe the opportunity to meet lots of people will come and that I will do it. (And, that the person they will meet will be a better person than they would have met if I hadn't done it this way.))))
My gut feeling is still to try to find a job here. (This would be a nice place to live out the rest of my life.) (Someday I might want to go someplace warm through part of the winters; but, so far, I am able to deal with the winters here.)
Another thing that would be nice about that job with the city is that it would be a great way to meet a lot of people.
If I find a job here, I am still planning to get a cat. (Be nice to have a companion and some touching in my life. (And, the commitment would probably be good for me too.))
(11am) I am only eating one meal a day now, and I am going to experiment with eating it in the mornings. (Being able to experiment with things like that is one advantage of unemployment.)
Erica has Wednesdays off on her new job. (That wouldn't be too bad a deal. (In my bar days, Tuesday nite was one of my favorite nites of the week. (The bars usually weren't crowded.) (Bartenders and waitresses made up the bulk of my friends, and they often had that nite off and I could spend some time with them.))
(Noon) Erica called and visited a bit. (It always brightens my day, when I hear her voice.)
I have been thinking about her comment about me repressing my feelings about my ex's infidelity. (It occurred to me that I started visiting massage parlors and began gaining weight about the same time that I found out. (I couldn't talk about it without provoking another attack on me and I may well have repressed it rather than rock the boat.))
(3pm) Nice workout.
(6pm) Time for a reading break.
(7pm) The nite I spent with Sharon was sure an unpleasant experience. (Maybe I have slept alone for too long to ever be comfortable sharing a bed again?)
(10pm) Quiet nite. (Nice.)