3-30-87
(Noon) Well, I caught up with all my pen pals again. (Neat.)
Now I had better get dressed.
I suppose I can't really blame women for not wanting to help me work through my problems with sexuality. (There are so many guys who don't have a problem and who are more fun to be with; they would be silly to waste time with me.) (Tis my problem and I need to come to terms with it myself!)
One solution to my problem with intimacy is to keep building friendships with women, and hope that, in time, someone will be willing to help me come to terms with it. (The problems I see with that are:
1. I had a lot of women friends in Bozeman, and none of them would even consider helping me. (The "too nice to fuck" syndrome.)
2. I am so uptight right now; I am not even meeting women and building friendships anymore.)
(I think I am going to have to come to terms with it alone, and with occasional trips to Wallace. (Keep trying to become a better man, and maybe someday I will be good enough for women.))
(4pm) Nice workout.
(6pm) I did some studying again finally.
Now I think I will watch the basketball game.
(8pm) Good game.
3-31-87
(11am) Last nite was a quiet one of tv. (Nice.)
I got a letter from Hunter today. (He is doing pretty well.) (He thinks my intro ad was too long and too picky. (He is probably right.)) (He says he got a really "warm" letter from Carrie. (I wonder if they will ever get back together? (I suppose I am a hopeless romantic, but I still think they made a good couple.))) (I know that Hunter needed to do some growing, but maybe he has?) (This letter from him was addressed to Dr. Turtle?)
(1pm) It has been a relief that being honest about how I feel hasn't caused me to lose Erica's friendship. (I need to work past all that, and talking about it seems to help.)
I have a lot to work through still.
(7pm) I finished studying SuperCalc and Paradox, and now it's on to some bookkeeping software. (Tis nice playing with a computer again.)
Sharon called and we are going to hike up to the M tomorrow afternoon. (It will be nice having someone to hike with for a change.)