Note from the ozone: The cocaine scene and the Church scene, what do they have in common? (What I can see is that each has it's own requirements for membership which then segregate those people as separate and special. (At least in their own minds.))-(They each charge "dues" that are charged and paid to belong, rituals to be performed, "sacred" objects (Some people worship a base pipe.), each has the potential to be addicting, and each can get you killed.)
I am getting a lot of practice at giving things up. (First sex, and now cigs and alcohol.) (And, in a couple days coffee and pot.) (Oh well, it builds character.)
(8pm) My biggest concern with experimenting with Carrie's idea of spending a few months with a lover and then moving on is that it may be taking relationships too lightly; which is to take magic too lightly, and that can be risky.
12-8-86
(Midnite) Quiet nite of tv and solitaire.
I enjoy listening to Rickie Lee Jones at times like this. (She sure has a pretty voice.)
(2pm) Nice workout. (A few years of this and I will be a walking brick.)
It occurs to me that it has been a long time since I have seen the moon. (Maybe that is related to not writing any poems now?)
(4pm) One thing I have been trying to work on lately is to trust my intuition in more areas.
(6pm) Nice walk.
Erica stopped by while I was gone to the Club. (She left a note telling me my frig is "filthy". (True, and it's in need of defrosting too. (Should I play chauvinist and blame it on not having a woman's touch around the place, or do I go ahead and confess to being lazy?))
I thought again about my comment that I would have laughed if someone told me three years ago that I could sit home alone on Saturday nite. (Three years ago I couldn't imagine spending any nite home alone.)
Today I typed up all the stuff to apply for a job at the university and sent it in. (I spent a lot of time on it.) (I would really like to get a job there! (I have felt for years that working at a university might be the perfect job for me.))
When I started playing solitaire a few weeks back, I noticed that I set up a predetermined system for making decisions. (i.e., whenever I had to choose to move one of two cards, I would make the decision on the basis of that system. (e.g., if I could choose to move a heart or a diamond, I would move the heart; and clubs over spades.)) (It then occurred to me that that was wrong, and part of my problem in a lot of areas of life. (Each situation is unique so I decided to start letting my intuition decide each time. (Tis slower, but I think it's good to practice using my intuition; and it's good for me to learn to not rely on predetermined rules or generalizations. (Make any sense?))))